The Greatest Story Ever Told

2009-07-16T10:40:00.002+08:00

i think i am like having insomia for the past few days man. alot of things on my mind. jus that i cant really seem to find an answer and a solution for these thingys.it's kind of frustrating. well, i think there isnt really anyone to point finger at. as much as i would love to do so. and ya, i do know that it has been affecting my performance overall everywhere from work to my social skills. jus feel like snapping at everyone and anyone, it really takes alot of self control not to do so.

well. i somehow manage to narrow down the actual cause of it. i think i am hoping too much for something that i knew would never happen in a million years. something that i feel is unthinkable and unachievable. i actually thought that i was over and done with it lastime. but it just seem that it was jus the beginning. of coz, i would really love for things to turn out the way that i actually dream it to be. but as we all know, reality is never kind on us. so things would never ever go the way that i would wish it too. there are 2 ways, 1 - work towards it. 2- jus ignore. i think i am just going to do the latter. i jus dont want to jeopardise our friendship. probably, i am jus not fated to have a happily ever after ending.

after what that i saw that day, i think it is best that i jus go to 1 corner and not jus be involved. some things if they are meant to be are meant to be. i just dont want to feel worst after tat. well, i could be losing out on a good girl. but it is jus me. it is a sucky feeling to have. but i jus have to suck it up and jus move on with my own life. it was always me against the world. always will be and would be always this way.

i just want to be alone.

2009-06-30T12:19:00.002+08:00

been havin wierd wierd dreams recently man. and its kinda of freaky. well, but if it is a sign of things to come in the future. i dun mind having such nice wierd dreams :D

yeah. today my last "free" day of my "holiday" i need to get some sch work done man. otherwise when i go back to sch on thurs i am screeeewed big time. hahaha. actually i think i wld get another karaoke session frm my granny. kinda expectin it alr. LOL. so ya. but i dun wanna prolong my own personal agony. so yups. let's do some work while i wait for my movie to buff :P

ytd went to catch transformers 2 with merv and sugmad again. can u believe it. all of us are like watching it for the 2nd time in a row. madness. hahaha but we still enjoy the movie though. seriously need to do some shopping for some tees man. suddenly very into plain tees. so i guess i am jus going to satisfy my own cravin and jus go binge. speaking of binging. omg. haha i have like of mountains of debts to pay. and i jus realise it. die sia this mth. cfm broke again. :( maybe do have to wrk a little more and get more $$$.

2009-06-27T02:31:00.003+08:00

u knw, it was actually never meant to be.

i was jus too blinded by love to see

the signs were there for u and me

that you and i were never meant to be

we were like the north and south and opposite seas

if only things were as simple as A B C

i would never have fallen in love with ye

but it was great whilst it lasted with ye.

now i am still waiting for someone, u see.

but then she and i can never be.

so she is just a dream for poor old me.

my friends told me to give up on she,

but my heart tells me to wait for she.

a girl like her is really hard to seek.

i pray that God would be kind to me,

to give me the one that i really need,

and i hope i am the one that she really needs

after all these years, she's someone that understands me.

maybe there is someone else that do know me,

jus that i am too preoccupied to see,

the answer could be jus in front of me.

but i think that chances are slim for me.

as she is already in love with him.

i'm jus not meant to love freely,

perhaps one day i would find my perfect she.

so for now, i am jus contented to be thinking of she,

and pass the miserable days with glee.

2009-06-27T01:32:00.002+08:00

ok. it's day 2 of self quarantine. very boring partly due to the fact that i got nth to do at all. jus to lazy to get myself out of bed and actually go and make plans. so i jus laze in bed and rot the day at home on my laptop.

well, went to meet jianglong jus now at mustafa then we did some shopping. haha after that went for supper cum dinner. that was for my boring day.

these few days spending time with myself, made me kinda discover something. i like being alone. jus being with myself and no one else. it jus feels good. no one to distrub me. no one to irritate me. no one to talk to me. jus me and myself for company. boy, i can grow to like this life man. maybe i was jus meant to be alone. 1 person. i could grow to like this type of life.

anyways i think school would be a real bore after the new term opens. i would have to go back to listen to my grandma's naggin about things not being done according to structure etc etc. it can be a real pain in the ass at times man. thank god, i am suppose to be that patient smiling guy that jus agree with whatever she says in front of her. sometimes, i jus really want the freedom to teach the lessons in ways that i feel most comfortable with and not in ways that are being enforced on me. it jus negates my own personal creativity and takes all the fun out of the lessons. seriously, without her around i feel more at peace and at ease. she jus freaks me out for some reason or other. but despite tat, i have to agree that she really does take care of the people that are under her. speaking of which, i otang her alot of lesson plans alr. but get around to doing it and giving it to her. if it aint for the tons and tons of paperwork from her, my job would have been more enjoyable and more fun. i seriously need my personal space man. i jus feel very uncomfortable with people checkin out my every move and every actions.it is jus a plain intrusion of privacy. something which i value very highly since it is my personal space.

hmmm. recently made a new best fren. i really hope that this friendship would really progress and develope. rather than jus remain stagnant and is soon forgotten. somehow, she has became the reason that i smile and cheer up everyday. but then maybe i shouldnt jus msg her daily or sth. haha it's irritating. but then a msg frm her jus simply brighten up my day. something which no one has mangaged too for some time. not even mandy. well, she could have initially but then after a while it grew stagnant. i shall jus leave it as that. as after all some things are better left unsaid, unspoken.

2009-06-23T22:05:00.002+08:00

been a long long long time since i last updated my blog. decide to do it here in this chilling place that i have called my home for the past 3 days. alot of things had happened prior to this trip. well, i would think of it as 2 heartbroken souls jus trying to find their answers but taking a short getaway frm the normal hassle and passle that we would experience in our everyday life.

hmmm. as to what i have been up to recently, got myself a full time job but then still wrking partime at fish n co and teaching tution. haha many ppl have called me crazy. actually i think that i am. well, it started off with me wanting to earn for $$$ for my other half, but it ended up with me seeing the practical side of it. more wrk means more $$$ which also mean that i would have lesser time to spend $$$, so ultimately i can save more. which in the long run seems much better than jus surviving on the pay of my main employer.

yea. as quickly as i could say boo!, i'm like single again. haha i think i am like damn suay with gals even though i do have quite a few frenz. it really sucks when u jus see girl after girl that one is romantically involved with leave u 1 by 1 and after that to only find her 1 true love. sounds like the movie "good luck chuck"? it rly seems like it is jus happening to me. maybe that's y i am jus contented to remain as frens rather than to be romantically involved as much as i may like the person. perhaps like this, shit wouldnt happen. well,since it happens alot of time, i think there should be some sort of problem that needs to be fixed. sigh. but i jus do not know what izzit. i cant really see any fault with myself. maybe i do need a 3rd party to examine me and rly see what's wrong.

seriously, i jus dont really have the mood to date or chase after any girls nowadays eversince mandy came along. she kind of change my view of gals after all that had happened between us. i really think that what happen between us was a mistake and now that it ended maybe some good would come out of it.

also, i realised that a part of me was like dead eversince after _______. i really do not think i can find back that part of me again. sad but ya, i dont think i could ever be the same again. haha also i realised that i am jus babbling over here with no real structure. jus typing whatever that comes to mind. so it is jus rambling and rambling on. sound like some lunny? haha i think so too.

there are like so many things that i would like to type here. but then i am jus afraid of scrutiny. like how siti would put it. PUSSY. yea. i knw. but ya. cant be help. i got a big big fear of rejection.

but 1 thing good did came out of my breakup. i really got closer and i mean much much closer to my sec sch buddies. quite stupid of me to jus take them for granted sometimes. not seeing that they were always there for me when i needed someone. always there for me. i am not as strong as u think. that strong part of me stayed a long time ago with the part of me that died a long time ago. cheem? haha i hope not. i am not as strong as i think i am. i do really pray for more confidence in myself.

i think that's all for now. having writer's block.

2009-01-26T22:48:00.001+08:00

新年快乐!!! Happy 牛 Year!!!

haha. nth much to blog about right now. jus wanna say that it had been a great start to the new year for me.

hopefully my interview this wednesday wld go well. then i would have a full time job alr :D

2009-01-22T02:15:00.002+08:00

wow. it was really a fulfilling day yesterday when i went back to camp with changpeng. LOL. met up with my OC & CSM, PS & the remants of the Glory Geenas. it was a great getogether man.

to be honest, i really miss my coy. great memories, great ppl, great things. my fondest memories frm my NS time come frm there. well, i spend more a yr & a half there. so it's natural tat most of my fond memories came frm there, frm the people that i have called comarades, who are willing to look after my ass, jus like how i am willing to look after their's. this muz be wat they call camaradiere.

though the visit was short. the catch up was good. wld try to visit again when i have the chance :P

well, went to wrk again today. haha. been like that ever since i ORD. but yea. though i like the current job that i am in. i must acknowledge that i do need to look for a better payin job to supplement my income and my expenditure. it is more practical. and yea, i am very picky abt my job. how much i liked the job and wrking enviroment is far more impt than how much the job is paying me. coz i personally feel that u enjoy ur time at wrk, one muz be doin a job that one really like in order to get this satisfaction.

still job hunting.

2009-01-19T00:04:00.002+08:00

jus feel like strangling myself.

the signs were there and i was jus too blind to see.

enough be said, there is lots to be done on my part.

sometimes i just hate myself. maybe it was never meant to be, like always.

sometimes i jus feel like givin up and jus dont bother abt anything at all.

sometimes i jus cant but have the feeling if things are what they seemed to be.

what if everything was just a facade?

what if the other party was jus tryin not to hurt me?

i really dont know. all i can do is jus to trust, wait & see.

hmmm. as always, the only person that i can really turn too is myself.yea. bert tryin to cheer bert up. it has always been the case and always wld be. yea. i guess i shld jus go back into the little world of my own as i had did in the past. it wld be best it seems. yea. perhaps the conclusion wld always be the same. it ended before it started. as much as i dont want it to be this way. it is jus frm my side. her side also need to complement it. so that the conclusion wld not be forgone. it takes 2 hands to clap. i jus really dont know. maybe i shld jus take my side of the hand and strangle myself.

confuse i am. emoing i am. i jus wanna be left alone. yea. i was the one thinking too much. i was the one havin too much hopes. i was the one that thought otherwise. sigh. it jus dont work out the way i hope it would. nothing does work out for me i guess.

i jus wanna be alone now.

2009-01-16T00:59:00.002+08:00

well, maybe this isnt the time to be emoing since it is like so close to cny. but somethings jus set me thinking.

3years have past and i can safely say that i have indeed gotten over her. it wasnt easy. but well, i did it. not by myself but coz of this person that i have gotten to knw recently. knwing and interacting with her jus made me view things differently from how i wld have viewed them in the past. and even though i have jus knwn her for a short while. i jus feel that i knw her for a long time.......and i muz really admit.......i think i have fallen for her.

but as much as i have feelings for her. i wld say at the moment it is kinda one sided. i understand that she needs time to short things out with herself jus like i did. and i am willing to wait. coz i believe that she is worth the wait. but i hope that it wld not take too long. coz like as fire needs fuel to burn. i believe so do love and relationship. and it takes 2 hands to clap..... i knw that i may sound super negative here. but i am afraid. afraid that the fire wld jus die out and nothing wld come out of it. i really do not want it to happen. i want this fire to be an eternal flame. always burning brightly even in the darkest of nights. and i am willing to do anything to keep it burning but of coz not at her expense.

maybe it's coz i have seen her in a week and i am really missing her badly. that y i am talking abt this at this unearthly hour. i jus feel vunerable and kinda scared. like how a kid wld feel in the dark. having fears. fear of things not wrking out. fear of things jus endin before it started. as optismistic as i may be. some of these fears may jus have an effect on me.

haha. actually now i dun knw wat i am talking also. but yea. it was great hearing her voice jus now. even though it was jus for a short while. it made me smile despite the fact that we didnt talk much.

i want you & i need you. and i'll wait for u till the ocean run dry & the sun burns out. i'll wait. coz i do not wanna lose a gal like u. a hard to find treasure. a gem.

2009-01-05T02:21:00.002+08:00

OMG! it has been like wat 4 mths before i even updated my blog. LOL.

well, jus wanna wish whoever that is readin this blog, if there is ever one that reads it.
Happy 2009!!!

alot of things have happen since i last blogged. i've found a partime job that doesnt pay that much by the hr, but it is a job that i love. i've found someone that gradually makes me forget abt the other her. i've ORD frm the army. i've survived NS. but the list jus goes on and on and on abt these significant things that have happened.

many of my platoon mates have shared with one another about our NS experience. and most of the output that comes frm them are rather negative. sayin this abt army, that abt army. nth good i must say. but for myself, personally i thought that my NS experience was rather memorable. well, one cld be sayin that i am self consoling myself due to the fact that i did not make it to command school, while everyone ard me even my close frenz expected me to make it there. i would say that it could be a blessing in disguise that i did not make it there. otherwise i would be have met a great bunch of peeps like my platoon mates and the guys in my company. it really open my eyes frm the rather sheltered life that i have led thus far.

yea. i could also be in a way consolin myself. coz i admit that i was rather disappointed that i did not make it into command sch despite doin quite well durin my BMT. onli bad point. i failed my ippt. which more or less condemn me to serve as a Man in some unit. i came into 41 feelin very demoralise coz of my posting. and i admit that i wanted out frm the place the very day that i stepped in. but as time slowly goes by. outfield after outfield. shit after shit. i finally came to like the place that i have called home for nearly 2 years. i was really sad to actually leave the place. i remembered i look back in sadness as i walked through the gates for the last time. all the fond memories that i've gotten from there.......

it jus seemed like yesterday that i have stepped into the place. the friends that i have made there. the troubles that i have caused there. the things that i have left there. i could still remember them. as much as i would say i wouldnt say it. i miss my camp. not coz of the management but rather coz of the ppl that have made my stay there such a memorable one. i have my own reservations about the management of my unit but some things are better left unsaid, unspoken. i know, u know can alr. :))

1 more positive thing that happen to me in NS was that i made a great buddy there. though i must admit that at times he may not seem the best of buddy. but he's the best that i could ever have. well, i do have certain reservations about certain issues with him but sometimes i jus choose to hold my peace. coz talking too much as i have learnt could jus land u into hot soup. but 1 thing that i feel very strongly for him is his choice of girls and fricklemindedness over them. well, despite voicing out to him several times, could see that he still choose to walk the path that he has walked all along. and as much as what he tells me, i still got eyes to see, ears to hear. that at times what he told me was not the whole truth but rather he was jus telling me what i wanna hear. which well, could be rather infuriating at times.

i personally feel that one shld be honest and true to oneself and to one's interest or even to frenz. and not just keep running away from the truth or avoiding it or jus smoking your way thru. if you really like her, jus go for her. even though she may not be the best choice of gf to others coz of her characteristics and behaviour. also. givin in to her all the time financially and morally is not going to get u anywhere too. u would just end up penniless and in debt. well, maybe that's where true love does surface.

as much as i do not like her as a person. if it's ur choice, my blessings go with u. jus know that everybody have a choice. and once u make it there is no turning back. u just have to lived with it. and from what i can see, i guess u have made your choice to stick with her. so u jus have to live with it. as curious as i am about the 2 of u. i am also kinda sick of it. it's always the same story. "i am not with her" but actions seems like "i am still with her" kinda of story. it does make me wanna whack u at times. but i've gotten over that phase.

i acknowledge that we may not spend as much time together as we would have in the past, but well, i do try to make time for u. it jus that u spend most of ur days sleeping or with her. i do try not to become 1 of ur type of frenz that jus disappear over time. but output from my side shld be match with output from your side. aft all it takes 2 hands to clap. yea. if i keep going and on. i could really talk about a hell lot of things about u.

anyways, recently something good happen to me too. found someone that suits my category of an ideal gf. well, relationship is still in the making but i hope things would turn out the way that we want it to be. i know she wants to go into a relationship. but i do need some time on my part to clear my head over certain stuffs and she's quite understanding about tat. :)) it really touches me to see it so. that's all i can say for these.

i feel that my friendship with my secondary school buddies have evolved to a new level. can say that we are now much closer than we are in the past. now that all of them are in NS and i am out of it. we do treasure our freetime together. no longer it just lan lan lan. right now there are other things inserted inside too. haha. can u actually believe it? we are actually plannin a road trip to australia. but first i need to get my liscense. headache man.

kkz. i think that all for now. if i carry on further i can jus write a novel already.

signing out............

2008-08-23T13:09:00.001+08:00

wheeee. ahm is finally here. here we are again. going to do the same old stuffs that we did last year. which is like quite fun la. hah lookin forward to it later in the nite when we chiong thru the nite and have lots of fun. well, last ahm before i ORD. rofl. fun fun fun.

that's all for now. maybe later.

2008-08-17T22:06:00.003+08:00

blog jus before i book in. haha.

going to be a super xiong week next week. lots of things coming up. another long long long walk. follow by track breaking and AHM. grrrr. then the next week outfield again. sad lo. haha. nowadays it's not so safe to talk so much on blog. lots of ppl watching. lots of ppl readin :P

BREAK TRACK TMR!!! yay. like finally aft such a long while. ROFL

2008-08-06T14:40:00.002+08:00

boohoo! it's a very borin week for me in camp. haha reason? well, am on status (excuse outfield) after a very unfortunate fall that happen to me while i was fireman liftin our dear wee leong. landed with my face rubbin the road. woaah. it is indeed a feelin of a life time man.

haha. at least i am not alone in camp. i still have my dear SC, SGT P and Ting'er to keep me company coz due to unforeseen circumstances they were not able to make it out to the field. so there we are. 3 lonely souls keepin guard over our company. ok la. sounds kinda lame.

national day is this weekend, and it is probably the last time that i cld see kok chong, that is provided that his sentencing on the 12th of Aug gives him probation instead of a jail term. hope that it wld turn out for the latter instead of the former. hmmm. right now, we havnt decided on a place to go yet. so ya. haha here i am sittin down, supposedly tryin to find a place to eat but it is an excuse to use the com. hehex. hmm. 1 more day and the rest of the platoon wld be back. sad to say, too bad the outfield cant be longer :P like that i wld probably have more time to do some self reflection in bunk, on my bed :x tsk. hope PC doesnt shoot too much rounds thru his Co-Ax. coz aft all the ones that is cleanin that arms is us, his men.

looking back the past 2 years of my ns life, army seems to be a little more relax now that we are closer to our ORD date, not taking into considerations the alternate combat runs that we have, the occsational IPPT or SOC tests that seem to pop up frequently and of coz not forgettin the never-ending "faituge work" aka SAIKANG that always seems to get thrown at us. it is everpresent, neverending. a NSF's worst nightmare. it was totally different from how i first started out as a chao recruit at Tekong, before comin over to 41SAR as an AI Trooper. life back then was not as great as how it is now. even though there cld be some form of improvement, for eg, better passing of instructions and lesser waiting time etc.

i guess that's all from me for now.

2008-07-06T15:47:00.001+08:00

been nearly a year since my last posting. haha. now i am back with more postings. took a short short break frm blogging.

last week, had my ATEC stage 1 evaluation and i can safely claim that we have done very well for it despite my plt gettin a redcon 3 for battlecourse as my whole platoon perish due to reasons knwn onli to us and the OPPFOR.

next week is a rather slack week as i have mon and tues off jus going back to camp for a day. then i think if i am not wrong, we wld be gg to Ce Feng's death aniversary on thurs. it has been a year since he left us. even though i do not really knw him that well the short short time that i had with him showed me that he is indeed a good fren and a good platoon mate.

that's all for now. wld be back later.

2007-10-21T03:32:00.000+08:00

24 more hours to Wallaby

didnt update for a very long time, but it had been a great week for me man, catching up with old frenz especially. thank god, this week was mainly off for me, so i could stay at hm and chill and enjoy time with myself, my friends and my family. flying off on mon, i guess there's nth much i would really miss in singapore except for a few ppl that are worth my misses :))

goin for buffet later with my family. blog more later. it's kinda late too.

2007-10-06T18:50:00.000+08:00

last week was quite slack. dun knw go back to camp for wat. haha. but wat to do. there is nth much to do as australia is approaching. as i look at the training schedule in australia. dun really feel like going already.

anyways i think my company's management is f up. totally f up. all my leaves and offs burn. honestly, i rather burn it myself than let them burn for me. so yeah. thank god, i finish all my offs before they could burn for me. it jus distresses all of us.

this week is goin to be yet another relaxing week. looking forward to the long off that i have before i go off to australia. well, going to spend some quality time with my frenz before i chao. namely, merv and gang. coz it's his birthday. so jus keep a day specially for him :)) haha. and of coz not neglectin all the others.....if there's time.

yesterday went to watch planet terror with zheng ting aka ting'er. lol nice movie. super gory though the storyline a lil no link. but totally enjoyed the movie. bookin in later for live firing tomorrow. next book out would be on thurs then book in the nite again before going out for Bn aniversary on fri then bookin out frm there. so ya. long long week. if i rem correctly got SOC test coming up again next week. sianzation.

tomorrow live firing again. so many of them. ZzzZ. no wonder they sing the song "i dun wanna lead an army life" :P hahahahaha. enough of bitching alr. going to pack my book in bag and chill a while b4 bookin in.

2007-09-29T16:14:00.000+08:00

Final Outfield before we head off the Wallaby. it was a super super XIONG 3D2N outfield. i think i didnt even sleep more than 8hrs combine man. well, no fresh ration. jus combat ration for those days.

we started off going into tactical mode the moment we reach TVMA. that means, our LBVs, helmet and weapon have to be on us at all times and not to add we have to camou on. it was really very challenging as we had not had such training in a long while. we were also to lagger at our vehicles. the outfield was splitted into 3 different types of training. Armour Attack, Infantry Attack and Delay Defence. we were suppose to play out these roles and to assult the other platoons or defend against them. sleep was scarce. as we had to be alert at all times. the last day my platoon did delay defence and we set off for our defence position at midnite. arriving there we had to set up shellscapes and that involved a lot of digging before we could rest abit. but then, even rest was a bother coz of all those buzzing mosquitoes that doesnt seem to be afraid of anything, eg. repellent.

that week itself was also rather slack as we returned back on wednesday night and had the whole of thursday to myself with nothing on. friday was suppose to be an off for us as our PC had given us off. and due to our fuck up CSM, we had our off voided and had to return back to camp. after that then he tell us that we had to go down for ATP despite the fact that we had been asking for the whole week and wat we were told was that we dun need to go down.

i think that it is really stupid of our CSM to do so. i mean, sometimes he really do things without thinking. if he had want us to stay and go for the ATP, i would galdly do so as long as he had jus say it in advance and not when our offs were approved and we were half way on our way home then tell us that we have to go. it's really fuck up la. i think he cant stand the fact that we are free. always doing some sort of stunt on us wan. like that time during trade's course, keep playin with our book out timing. it's like not that first time. really screw him la. then in the end it made all of us super dulan and sians. i think that care for soldiers is really not on his list of core values.

i really wish that we could change our CSM. and to think that i was even tryin to convince the others tat he was not as bad as he is. looks like i am wrong. take back wat i say. and also our PC seems so afraid of CSM. i mean, they are our PCs after all, i feel that they should at least try to stand up for us like how our PS would and not jus agree with whatever he say even though they know that it is not right or it seems wierd. maybe that's y we jus respect them for their rank and not them as a person. think the only one that seems like a PC is PC7.

also, which crazy motherfucker have to take off on saturday? store party covered, ammo party covered, sentry covered. so SAW gunners go down for wat fuck? really stupid lo. i had to take off on a SATURDAY? that's really stupid lo. wasting my offs. that time when SAW gunners had our ATP, i dun see them helpin us at all. rather we were doing everything ourselves, including the stores. this time round, i dun get it why we have to go down. company intergrity? my foot. i think it is otherwise. they jus dun wan us to have a long weekend. things have really changed for the worst with the change of OC coz it was already bad since CSM is around.

i was super pissed yesterday. think i stop at here. some things are better left unsaid. going to alvin's party later. haha. that asshole is finally 21. going to pull stunt on him hopefully.

2007-09-23T17:52:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
CHERYL, CHERYL, SHERYL, PECK YENG, RENE, ALVIN, CHANG PENG

2007-09-23T00:44:00.000+08:00

actually last week was a rather slack week in camp. did nothing much except to play my psp, eat, slp and do some saikang. that was all i did for the whole week. ok la. low tempo, so i am not complaining. wait till next week, then i would start bitching again coz we are outfield and of all places we are going too, we are going to sungei gedong. seriously, i really hate that place man.

ok. i had friday off so i spend some quality time with alvin and mervin. let me recall wat we did tat day. ha. went to play at the lan shop that wei liang brought us there that day, then after that alvin had to send his cousin home, so i went shopping with mervin in town for both alvin's and huisia's present. after that jus headed home to rest coz i am feeling shagged out.

yeah, anyway i went for huisia's birthday party today held at her house. saw this particular someone there that i am not quite sure if i wanna see. i jus dont know to feel excited or to feel scared or it is jus frm embarrassment. but all i knw is that we dun seem like we are even friends anymore. yeah, i guess i did indeed do her wrong in the past. well, there is no one to blame for except myself. and i am jus like regretting and living with my mistake. and it is only right that i be ignored.....totally.

i jus cant bring myself to face her and say jus a simple hi. i jus feel small ard her. it is like a stare frm her cld jus tear through the fabric of my soul. my heart was in my mouth when i walked down the steps and she was the first thing that i saw. with heart pounding, i was really at a lost for words. i didnt knw wat to say. i didnt knw wat to react. then as i looked at her, she looked away. i can really hear the shattering of my heart. i selfishly admit that it was not the response that i hope to have, but it was the response that was kinda expected. after all, i think i was really a bastard to her towards the end of our friendship. i was jus being too selfish, too immature then.

what i did then resulted in the consequences that i am experiencing today. yeah. it's really karma. what comes ard goes ard. it was only much later that i realise the gravity of my actions. it's too late to regret. i knw that things can never be the same again. i think i lost more than a friend. i totally lost her as a buddy, a friend, a confidante. nowadays i jus feel kinda empty. it jus seems that no one can really take up the place left vacant in my heart.

if there was 1 thing in this world that i would give up everything for. it would be to have her back as a friend again. i dont mind losing friends jus to gain her back. but such words are jus words if no action is being partaken. but i guess it is jus a one way thing. she seem to have a much better life now with much better company. yeah and i think all that i've become is jus a memory or maybe even a forgetten memory in her chapters of her life.

it jus hurt me inside and there is not a time that i do not think abt it though i jus try to shrug it off. i miss the fun times that we had together. and i would be lyin if i dont say that it was the most fun times of my entire life. maybe the reason that i wanna sign on is also because of her. but ya, life have to move on. i wanna try to forget and move on like i guess which she did. i jus wanna forget despite my heart sayin no......but she is jus unforgetable. i should just stop deceiving myself that things would change for the better.

but at least when i saw her today, she looked well. and i guess tat is more than enuf for me. knwing that she is well. this despite the fact that we are not friends anymore. i guess i still do care. it jus kinda depressing, everytime i think abt it. guess no one can really understand hw i really feel.

we didnt stayed long for the party. leaving after a short while.

2007-09-16T10:58:00.000+08:00

took off on wednesday evening to go for changkat changi's gals AOC parade. well, simple but a rather meaningful parade for the pioneer batch of gals that have finally taken over aft an eventful 3 yrs. well, saw a lot of old faces there and it does bring back memories. and ya, going there and being remembered and recongnise for ur efforts really make the trip a meaningful one. :)) that cld also be the last time all 3 of us, alvin, wei liang and myself were gathered together in the same place again coz NS calls all of us to serve her. wei liang was enlisted the followin day. think that wld be 1 of the last outings to changkat.

yeah. and i was back in camp again for that night then the next day was spent doing saikang aka packing for wallaby. ya. leaving for wallaby in a month's time. sianzation man. then it was book out day for me in the night as i clear my offs.

friday! alvin's birthday. haha. went out to celebrate with him and merv. jus a small celebration with the big one coming up in 2 weeks. hope i can make it man and that i dun need to go for the live firing. maybe i would jus take off for it.

saturday. went back to camp for falcon's POP. stupid lo. go back for 2 hrs then book out. after that went to makan with reagan and ting'er at cafe cartel before proceeding down to bugis to catch " i prounce u chuck and larry" fcuking hilarious and meaningful movie man. then i headed home. suppose to meet teranx and sk for dinner at serangoon gardens but i jus ended up slpin thru the night waking up this morning onli.

and yeah, it's book in day again today. heng next week is a short week man. coz SAW gunners dun need to do much. but i think they wld sure find some saikang for us to do wan. sianssss. haha. friday off in lieu, so ya. going to start planning something.

thinking of whether to go to her birhday party on sat. jus wondering.

2007-09-10T01:15:00.000+08:00

a week in tekong and our training has finally drawn to an end. yeah. i am back jus for the day and have to be back in camp again by 0730 later. sucks man.

well, due to the injury to my elbow, i was unable to participate in training in tekong. so i ended up doing guard duty over at Sanyongkong camp while the rest of my platoon was out in the field. yeah. i did that for the whole week. boring but fun. but then given a choice, i would rather be outfield with my section mates than stay at camp like some watch dog. it sounds very slack but it's not really fun man as much as it may seemed.

over these few months, a bond has build up between my platoon mates and i.and we were brought together, much closer by several incidents that happened to us during our NSF days. even the sgts are like much closer to us, emotionally and physically as compared to the other platoons. that is wat i think and wat i feel. i guess, everyone is lookin out for one another so that there would be no repeat of what happen last time. no one wants another ce feng, not myself. not anyone. i could really feel the camaradiere amongst us as we help unselfishly or reluctantly at times. but help was always offered to those that needed it. i guess, these are memories that i am going to bring with me when i leave the military service into civilian life, such experiences cant be bought with money.

next week is going to be a tiring week. preparation for australia. we are like going to pack the equitments tat we would be using over there, cleaning and mantaining them before packing them up. yeah, armour is a vocation of it's own man, totally different frm infantry units. and that is wat we would be doing for the whole week.

wednesday would also be changkat's girls unit COC parade. time really pass by fast. it only seem like yesterday that the unit was formed and there we are now with the first batch of specialists and leaders frm the unit. wei liang would also be enlisting into NS service too. how time really flies. time and tide really wait for no man.

yeah. guess i better be off, wanna play my psp b4 i slp :P and try to catch up on some of my much needed slp. army can be a killer at times.

2007-09-02T18:39:00.000+08:00

off to tekong for a week!!!

yeah. last week wasnt really a good week for me. fell down in the cookhouse and ended up with stiches on my elbow. wldnt be participatin in training next week i guess, jus going there to do saikang. but ya, at least i have my platoon mates for company :)) starting frm tmr, have to go to tekong medical centre nearly daily till they remove the stich next friday. hope it's not pain man :x

haha, also last week we had our platoon happy hour in camp. it was a bbq cum drinking session. haha. nvr saw my mates so drunk before. well. as for me, didnt drink much coz i do not like beer, spent most of the time cookin instead. :D

weekend was spend with kok chong and kong as we went shoppin at beach road. met kerk and cheng peng there. lol. then saw a few of my frenz whilst we were walkin ard the area. went frm beach rd to suntec then to The Cathy then to PS. lol. all ard the area. like amazing race like that.

wouldnt be back this weekend. but would be back the followin week. so ya. hope i have enuf hp batt to last me for the week man. and ya. of coz hope that my hand would be alrite :))

2007-08-28T20:41:00.000+08:00

wat an excitin week i had last week!!!

most of my time in camp last week was spent packing goody bags and to prep for AHM on sunday. was quite slack and quite fun as we got about doing our tasks. from moving baricades to packing the goody bags, at last we had saikang that was not so boring but rather fun and interseting. :))

finally saturday arrived and we were to report to marina bay earlier to set the place up for the big event the following day. well, in other words, we thaw the nite there, taking spastic photos and settin up the place along the way.:P and we didnt sleep much or didnt sleep at all during the nite as we jus wrked thru it. and we were up and running at 4am to await the arrival of the runners.

well, due to some cock up again i guess, we were dismiss around noon and aft that i headed straight home after lunch with some of my platoon mates as i had a chalet that nite. ya. i was really super shagged and i was like stoning during the chalet. well, the atmosphere this time over there feel a lil different. it's like a group of strangers coming together for the first time. that's how i feel during the chalet. and sad to say, i fell aslp half way thru. was really that tired. well, the next day, we check out and i think that could be the last class outing in quite a while. shall blog more about it later coz i have to bk into camp soon.

anyways, aft my class chalet it was followed by another chalet with my secondary school frenz whom i am rather close with. haha. my makkals. lol. well. that was really pure fun as we drink and cook the nite away. :P ya. DTE took away the Xbox and replace it with dvd player. rather dumb idea i think. lol. anyways that wasnt the point. the point is that i had lots of fun at this chalet. more than wat i had at my class's. well, wat else can i say>

anyways bookin in now. blog more when i return. oh. i finally found xue'er's present :))

2007-08-21T19:53:00.000+08:00

last week was kinda slack man except for the live firing that was on sunday.

Sunday- BX Section Live Firing Reshoot. basically i did not fire a single shot at all. all thanks to the weather and the fact that my section was the last 1 to shoot. kinda redundant i think to be shooting again juz becoz 1 platoon have not shot yet. headed back to camp the next day at 5am and was awake cleaning my arms all the way till 8am before i headed off for some much needed sleep. book out that very night too and had my off today. wells, all i know is that the next followin weeks leadin up to Wallaby would all be burn. hopefully i would get to have weekdays off.

spking about off, been thinkin about signing on with the army either as an armour officer or a specialist. though i would prefer the latter. well, it's been goin thru my mind for quite some time and if everything goes according to plan i think in the end i would jus sign on with the army. but of coz i wouldnt be making hasty decisions. but rather i would go check out everything first before making any moves.

this week would be a rather slack week with onli the IPPT test on thursday as the highlight of the week. of coz we must not forget the army half marathon this sunday which my company is in charge off. saturday night would be spent at the padang there preparin for the big day the next day. haha. hopefully it would be fun after all, time spend with platoon 5 is time well spent instead.

bookin back into camp soon and would be havin RSM parade tomorrow. haha. hopefully i dun get caught for anything man. lol.

2007-08-13T12:42:00.001+08:00

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2007-08-13T12:41:00.001+08:00

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2007-08-13T12:36:00.001+08:00

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2007-08-13T01:18:00.000+08:00

ok.. before i start wanna say something,

HAPPY 42nd BIRDTHDAY!!! SINGAPORE

haha. been a super long while since i last blog. wells, coz i had the last week off so was jus busy doin my stuffs. and it's ending soon in 24hrs. didnt really do much over the last week. jus went out to chill a little bit, catch some movies and yes, go back to camp. grrrr.

shall go all the way back to the main highlight of the week which is National Day!!! haha. was involved in the P&C segment. so means i would have a little bit of screen time. havnt really seen the video yet but i heard that i was spotted on tv :P ok la. dun think anyone wld recongnise me too since i was in camou. but ya. :))

haha. national day and rehearsals that followed before that was quite fun for me coz i was able to meet friends that i have not seen in a long while, friends whom i do not have the chance to meet coz of NS commitments. over the entire course of the national day rehearsals and actual day itself, i was able to meet my fellow BMTC Company mates who were there helpin out. there were quite a number of them there. haha. i was also able to meet ppl whom i gotta knw in NCC. well, they jus happen to be there either for the parade or to watch it.

well, some of the ppl i met were cheryl, peck yeng, jib, chia, rayner, aung etc. i also gotta make new friends during my stint there as a "performer". not a bad trip after all :)) i feel kinda sad that it has to end. but wells, all good thing has to come to an end someday, and this day is today. :(( haha.

but i really did have fun there, esp in the BX where i was tryin to escape frm sgt tong meng and kok chong. lol. the various topo trips that we make to marina sq, suntec city etc. all these are fun times which money cant buy and it's memories that i would hold dear to me :))

dont know whether cheryl notices it or not, but ya. she jus happen to be there for nearly every rehearsals and the actual day itself. lol. lucky man. next yr muz depend on her for ticket alr if we are not participatin again :P

the run up to national day was spent in camp doin guard duty and observance parade. before i went with kerk for some joy ride in his van whilest he does his delivery. and jus hangin around with friends. hmm. i guess ever since i lost 2 friends to death, i really am making the effort to connect with my friends regardless of how long we didnt talk or wat. i guess i jus dun wanna lose anymore friends unnecessary. it has also taught me a lesson to treasure those that are near me.

ya. enuf of sentimental talking already. next few weeks is going be tough man. coz most of our weekends are going to be burn. next week we would be havin our BX section live firing all over again, i pray that those that have finish shootin do not need to go down. *crosses finger. after that would be prep for AHM which my Battalion is organising which means that i wouldnt be runnin :P then straight after that we would be havin a 7day fieldcamp in tekong to prepare us for australia. DIEIDIE!!!!

and ya, i would be leavin for australia in like 2mths and would be attached there for training for 7weeks. hell of a long time with not much R&R in between. guess i would miss some ppl back home. well, at least it pays to be single coz i wouldnt be msging back that much :P jus maybe a msg here and there to remain my friends that i am still alive :P and i looking forward to the long long break that we were suppose to have after our return (hopefully) yeah, and i am plannign to apply for leave for the christmas period already. better be save than sorry, be a little kiasu, apply now. :P

2007-07-29T17:55:00.000+08:00

yayness! i am finally back. didnt blog last last week coz didnt feel like it.

training have taken a different turn over the last 2 weeks. the pace is far more relax than durin our "high" key period. nowadays, one can even sleep for the whole day in the bunk. didnt really do much last week. we jus had to clean our arms and attended ICCT lessons which i deem as lessons with the intentions of hurting oneself. then before i know it, book out day was here. and we proceeded on with NDP on saturday.

ytd, something very stupid happen at NDP. and because of that, everyone has to book in on fri night for NDP. feel like killin that person. but too bad. wat done is done. it cant be undone. also, recently, i've notice that my platoon sgt seem like a change man. he no longer is that fierce fierce dude that we came to kinda dislike, but rather most of us kinda like him now. :)) everyone also seems to be coping well with our recent loss of a platoon mate. well, things are looking promising for all of us.

yeah, haha. and how can i forget. my social life is taking a super super downturn. haha. havent been out in the streets for a very long time eversince ndp started. most of my times are jus spend resting at home. doin nothing much. but even despite this, manage to make a few new frenz (opposite gender) coz that is like wat all NSFs do. haha.

then i would be leaving for Australia in 2 months time. and would be there for about 7 weeks for training. well, guess it would be alrite. not the 1st time i've been overseas alone. but this time it would be a little different i guess. coz my past few overseas trips, i've someone to look forward too when i return. but i dont really have any now. coz i dun think that it is the time for such stuffs. right now, i jus wanna serve my national service.

all i know is that i would jus wait for that special someone who really mean alot to me.....

2007-07-16T18:53:00.000+08:00

In Loving Memory of Fu Ce Feng

A Friend, A Colleage

Recently Departed

You would be missed by All

i've just lost yet another friend in a space of 2 weeks. 1 that i have jus gotten to know. though we wldnt that close as i jus knw him, i still mourn for his loss as i recall the few fun and happy times that i had with him over the past 3 months that i known him.

i have jus gotten to know him a little better and now he is gone, never to be with us again. it seem only like yesterday that i gotten to knw him. the numerous RISK games that we played in camp and the few private moments we shared as we took the same cab home.

i would miss you! brother.

you would always have a fond place in my heart.

words cannot express the loss that is felt by all.

even though some may not agree with what you did

i believe that you did it in your own best interest

i believe that you are in a better place now.

2007-07-16T18:52:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday!!!

Kerk aka Potato Face :P

2007-07-16T18:07:00.000+08:00

yet another week have passed in camp. and it is indeed a mournful week for Platoon 5. we had lost a brother to death.

Mon
Went back to camp for our IPPT and guess wat. i pass my IPPT. lol. and that was all we did for that day.

Tues
this was the last day that we had seen Ce Feng. we had ICCT (Intermediate Close Combat Training) in the afternoon. it was kinda stupid. slamming your body on the mat etc. that night itself we had nights off and we came back to camp thinkin that we wld happily celebrate Sgt Tong Meng's birthday. but tragedy struck. my plt mate, ce feng never did came back. he has left us.... his death was a blow to us and most of us jus stay up for the night stoning.

Wed
training was cancelled for us as we were in no mood to train. and we jus stayed in our bunk and stoned. didnt really talk to anyone that day coz i did not have any mood. that night itself, we went to visit Ce Feng at his final resting place.

Thurs
today training kinda resume for us as we had ICCT in the afternoon. after that we headed down to visit Ce Feng again. but i couldnt go. coz i had to go settle elly's present.

Fri
Off today. went for Ce Feng's funeral in the morning before heading off for a meal with the guys at AMK Hub. after that headed home to change before going back there again for a movie with Chui Yee. we caught Harry Porter and i must say that expectations were high and it was a lil disaapointing.

after that we headed down to collect the Lychee Martini Cake and then elly's present, which according to poh ru was quite nice. later we went down to orchard to meet the rest of the gang.

reached holland village, but harry's was packed. so we settled for eski bar. and we celebrated her belated birthday there. :)) haha. mark was drunk or "high" as he claims. well, that is for him to knw onli :P

well, there were other programs that went on that night, but i left a little earlier then them coz i have NDP the following morning and i dont wanna tire myself out unnecessary.

*a point to note here. i cant stop ppl spreading stories abt me with this gal or that. actually i dont really care. unless it really does spoil the friendship that i have with that person. i jus dont get it how come some ppl wld get so affected by it. i jus hate it when friendships get spoilt this way. maybe that is why sometimes i am reluctant to introduce my frenz to others. anyways, what was already broken is kinda hard to be mended. i jus see how things go already. dont really care.

right now, i am happily single and i am not really keen on looking for a gf. all i jus want are frenz, plain platonic frenz. there is only 1 gal in my heart and it would always remain so unless someone takes her place, which i doubt so. it's hard to explain how i really feel. but then i think that things would never be the same again.

Sat
NDP Rehearsal. they had the NE show today which means all the primary school kids would be there. lol. did the same old routine again. and yes, slpt the whole day whenever there is free time. headed back to camp and came straight home.....and sleep....

Sun
slpt the whole day. didnt do anything much.

Mon
went out for lunch with Nat whom i have not seen in a long long while and we went to Sakae at Novena Sq to eat. after that we did a little grocery shopping before she headed home and i headed down for my hair cut.

this is going to be a very long week for me coz i would be having guard duty this sunday. hmmm. wonder who wld be doin it with me? lol. shall wait and see man. means that this week i onli book out on friday night then have to come back already. zzzzz. BX Armour Training is also going to continue this week. thank god we are going to somewhere near our company line :))

wells, bookin in soon. SIANZZZZ

2007-07-08T16:47:00.000+08:00

Slack Week last week!!!!

due to Chief Armour Officer COC Parade, we had a very slack week. no training. jus rehearsals. but then i wasnt involved so i jus spend my time in the bunk sleepin. but sad to say my sleep was cut short due to PS wanting to conduct PT sessions which resulted in aching muscles and numb hands.

Mon
half day off. had to go back to camp in the afternoon for SAF Redeclaration Parade. kinda stupid coz aft that we were lazing around in the bunk doin nothing.

Tues-Fri
jus stayed in bunk and slack. but due to PS wanting PT. we had PT on wed and thurs. nearly died from it. made to run and run and run. before we did static exercise the next day. haha. and i got my first taste of breaking track on my Bionix tank. kinda fun i muz say even though the tracks are not easy to break and fix.

guard duty that nite on friday was fun. kok chong, andrew and i did it together. sgt jeremy was there doin guard 3. so we jus basically sat down and had lots of fun. from eating rambutans (courtesy of the cookhouse uncle) to playin bingo to havin a late night supper. lol. haha. and not to forget a visit by cheryl to my camp to collect my ndp tickets.

Sat
NDP Rehearsal. raining. so feel kinda dots. well. gave the tickets to cheryl and it was a surprise that peck yeng was also going to catch it when she msg me later that afternoon. ya. so went to fetch her from the entrance coz she ask me to go see her. seeee. i am niccceeeeeeee. bleahs. ha. she still look the same. like no change le. :X wldnt say short. coz she would kill me.

see. told u it was a slack week. haha wonder wld next week be jus as slack. i wonder with IPPT coming up tomorrow. i think i wld die man. lol. off-in-lieu this friday. wonder what should i do? since i got quite a few plans. i wonder which one is the best choice. hmmm. shall go ponder over the week.

2007-07-01T22:49:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Elly!!!

You're 21 & LEGAL

2007-07-01T20:48:00.000+08:00

In Loving Memory of Vijay

04.04.1987-26.06.2007

A Brother & A Friend

You would be sorely missed by all

vijay was 1 of my closest friends back in secondary school. jus thinking about him brings back a lot of fond memories of our times in secondary school. or rather, most of my happiest and fun times in secondary school derives from him. all the troubles that we went through together jus for the fun of it. all the blood and sweat that we sweated for NCC (AIR). these are memories that would stay with me forever now that he is no longer with us.

his death was a blow to me. when i was told the news on tuesday. i thought that alvin was pulling my leg as Vijay was in hospital the previous week and the doctor said that he had a good chance of recovery. i was shocked when i learned that it was true. all the memories jus flowed back. without him, i think i wouldnt be the guy that i am today.

it only seemed like yesterday that i got to know vijay where we were classmates & platoon mates in St. Gab's. and in the blink of an eye, 8 years have past and he is now no longer with us. moving on to a much better place, into God's Kingdom in Heaven.

it was heart wretching for me as i recalled the times that we spent together, the moments that we shared. the laughters, the tears, the joy. the sadness, the pain that we experience together. and as i saw him lay in the coffin when i attended his funeral, sadness engulfed me. i was holding back my tears as i saw lying before me, a good friend of mine. i wasn't there when he breathe his last. i wasn't there when he was in hospital. i could only feel regret and sorrow that i wasnt there for him when he needed us and tat i have failed as a friend towards him. i fought to get my leave so that i could see him for a final time. and as i watched the coffin rolled on into the flames. i jus couldnt hold back my tears. 8years of friendship ended by fire. that was 1 of the saddest points in my life. and this is 1 of those moments that i would always remember.

to those that know him, his death has left a gap in our lives. a gap which could be never be filled. things would never be the same again without him. all the times that we spend together are now jus memories that we would hold dear.

I miss you, bro & i pray that you would be in a much better place. there are many things that i want to say about vijay. but i think enough is being said. the value he is to me could never be measured, never be understood. it jus hurts me to carry on......

Thanks Bro! for all that you have done & the fond memories of my teenagehood that you have given me. You would be remembered always!

2007-07-01T20:39:00.000+08:00

it was a very slack week last week as we had onli 3 full working days in camp.

Mon
OFF!!!

Tues
was quite a slack day as we had training in the afternoon onli.

Wed
BX Section Training. left in the afternoon for Vijay's funeral.

Thurs
SOC Test. then we had nearly the whole day off. had a NDP rehearsal in camp for the whole afternoon before proceeding off for Nights Off.

Fri
NDP Rehearsal for the whole morning before proceeding back to camp to book out. after book out i headed down to AMK to look for Alvin. we went for a jog before going for a movie at AMK Hub. caught Transformers. i think it was pretty cool and pretty nice.

Sat
NDP Rehearsal @ Marina Bay. haha. nothing more can be said :))

Sun
caught Die Hard 4.0. haha. i think that it was a super nice show. a must watch. other than that i jus slack at home for the whole day.

2007-06-25T16:52:00.000+08:00

haha. last week was super slack. tat is how army shld be la. and that's the way i like it, being the slacker that i am :)) well. today is monday. have the day off due to the fact that i was participating in NDP as a performer.

Mon- Wed
Commanders' Training. so basically we slack in bunk for 3 days, venturing out only for meals or some other saikang that we need to do. otherwise we wld jus stay in bunk and relax. nothing much to comment cept that i think that the upper management is bias towards our platoon coz of some incidents and ya, somehow we always get pick at. wat to do. we are the most "garang" most xiong platoon in the entire 41st SAR.

Thurs.
Start of our Armour Training. quite fun i muz say. haha. esp loading OVM (on-vehicle materials) and the mounting and dismounting. but the bionix is pretty hot. as there is onli 2 fans inside. had guard duty on thurs and i muz say it is the most xiong of all the guard duty that i had. haha. had my virgin turn out (which was not really a turn out since we had warning) and my virgin guard mounting. but did it with fun ppl so of coz guard duty is fun. did guard duty with yo pin and we went to prowl around the area. talk alot of cock along the way. and ya. can say gotta knw yo pin better despite the fact that we are from different platoons.

Fri
our battalion had a run at marina, esplanade there. haha and as expected i didnt go. coz i was guard duty. lucky shits man. :P so today was practically a off for me. jus finish guard duty then can go home already. dun need to go run and sweat it out. but then still i went down to look for my plt mates and we went to makan. imagine travelling down frm Yew Tee all the way to city hall. *shudders.

met up with some of my plt mates for lunch. initially was suppose to go eat at Muthu's Curry. but it was close. so we opted to go eat at Pepper Lunch instead. aft that, we splitted ourselves to 2 grps. 1 grp headed hm while the other went to arcade. i join the latter btw :P haha. after playin arcade, went to do some shopping by myself. hmmm. elly's birthday coming up. been planning to make a gift for her but ya. cnt seem to find wat i was looking for. may have to think of another alternative.

that night itself jus stay home and rot since i have to book back into camp the following day for NDP.

Sat
Whole day involved in NDP. yeah. would be on tv for a few seconds. suppose to represent Armour thru the Bionix II and it was suppose to showcase the swift and decisiveness of our armour vechicles.

we were at Marina Bay the whole day doing rehearsals. haha and as our vehicle drove past a lot of ppl pointed and took photos. well, it was really a feeling that you dun get often. haha almost feel like a celeb. towards the end as we were driving out after the final rehearsal. the performers that were gathered there started cheering for us and as i was standing on top of the vehicle i really felt like waving back :)) haha. but cant be help too if the feeling that we are like animals on parade in the zoo surfaces as the crowd jus adore upon us :P

ya. and on the actual day itself, cheryl would be there among the crowd. so i guess that would be extra motivation to participate in this segment even though i was not really that willing initially. really wanna put up a good show for her. :))

next saturday and many saturdays to come would be the same too. saturday being reserved for rehearsals and hopefully the monday would be a off for us :)) but then the thing is that next friday night have to book in unlike last week whereby we book in on saturday morning itself. ZZZ. sianxation lo.

the moment the rehearsal ended we headed straight back to camp and kerk was nice enuf to fetch us down to AMK since we are still going to the same place. went to meet alvin after i hit amk. sit down there at the mac near his house and talk kok with him for a few hours before i headed home to sleep.

Sun
haha. wat do u expect? i jus stay home and slack the whole day.

Mon
Let me see. went out to watch a movie "deathproof". went for haircut coz tmr is RSM parade. and i think the stupid barber cut my short hair way shorter. look kinda wierd now i think.

bookin in soon. hope this is a short and fun week. :))

2007-06-17T20:53:00.000+08:00

been a rather xiong week last week with alot of activities back to back. wanna die. so darn shag. but nvm. at least it's officially over. no more Infantry Training alr!!! yayness.

Mon
Section Live Firing. it was over before we even knw it. was quite fun yet scary as we were given live rounds to shoot whilst movin at section level. and the risk of shooting your own section mate is there and i must say that alot of trust between the individuals are involved. but heng, nothing happen.

Tues- Wed
Move outfield again for our final exercise. Platoon Summex at Sugei Gedong. i simply hate that place. mosquitoes infested. haha. it was very tiring as we were on alert the moment we got off the bus. bashing is really tiring. go up, go down. go straight thru plants and trees etc. 1 word to describe- Siong!!! but it was totally enjoyable. esp the missions. basically that was wat we did for the 2 days. which more or less sums up our Infantry Training.

Thurs-Fri
Slack and rest. nothing much to say. jus that we had lots of time to rest.

Sat
Platoon Live Firing. wheee. this is really danger man. no cover at all and with ppl running in front of you whilst u are shooting. haha. amazing no one got shot at all. had the jitters coz i was afraid of shootin my partner beside me. but ya. we did manage to space out so there is quite a low possibility that i wld shoot him or vice versa. whole thing was quite fun, the only thing that spoilt it was the rain. sucks man. hate being wet. haha. ya. i am bitching and complaining. lol.

Sun
Book out before first light. then going back in again today. went to catch Fantastic 4 with tham and ying yi @ cathy. haha. and finally i bought the crumpler bag that i wanted. whoopie. guess would be having leave next thurs and friday. but sians. got guard duty next thurs. so means gotta book in. sianxation

that's all for now. haha. wait till i update my slack week next week. yayness.

2007-06-10T15:41:00.000+08:00

another week have past, and another week towards my ORD. time simply passes fast. in a blink of an eye 6 months have past and i am one-quarter done with my national service. next year this time i would be relaxing and preparing for my long awaited ORD :))

it was a tiring and frustrating week for me. was told on friday itself that i have guard duty on saturday. how irritating can it get. and i was quite dulan about it. had plans that night with elly and gang. had to cut it short so that i can book back into camp for guard duty the following day. so for another week i had a very short weekend. and finally, next week would round up my Infantry Section Training!!! No More Fieldcamps!!! ain't that a good thing? :))

next week is going to be a very siong week. with alot of activities back to back.

Mon- Section Live Firing. Tues-Thurs- Platoon Summex. Fri-Rest. Sat- Platoon Live Firing.

Mon
Commander's Training. so it was a rather slack day for us. jus hang around in camp and slack ard. nothing much to mention too jus that i had a lot of sleep :))

Tues- Thurs
Headed outfield to Mandai for our Plt Infantry Training. the campsite was quite crowded with others besides us. and even though the training that we had over the 3 days was plain XIONG. it was very fun and enjoyable. it was like Medal Of Honor or Call of Duty realife. totally rocks totally fun. going to do it again this week.....for the last time......

we slept under the dark skies and you could see stars and the shiny moon. except for the last nite where we were under attack by ants, sleeping outside was really a very wonderful experience. coolin and when u wake up morning mist on u.

Fri
Truly a slack day. woke up at 7. went down for breakfast. then later go up slack. had games day. played soccer. haha that was more or less wat happen that day in camp. i was off in the afternoon. took off to go collect my A lvl Cert. must say that they give it in a very nice cover. the things that they wrote inside too doesnt make it sound like you? then before i book out, my PS dropped a bombshell on me. Guard Duty on Saturday. seriously how fuck up can it get? informing you so super last min. jus the day before you book out and on the days when u have plans. asshole man. anyways i was not going to let that spoil my days and my plan.

book out, collect my cert and i slack at home for a while before i headed off to meet elly, ter and dom for dinner. couldnt join them at pub coz i was suppose to book in. met them at Raffles City at 7pm then we waited for seats at Sushi Teh. before that i went to check out that crumpler bag that i was eyeing. and yes, i am going to buy it when i have nights off this friday :)) then going to do a little modification.

the setting at sushi teh was very cosy. very nice. and the same could be said about the food. had a king's meal that night. yummy!!! after the meal, it was nearly book in time. so it was with sadness that i left them.sob sob.

Sat
Guard Duty for the whole day. what more could be said? except tat i had lots of fun coz the ppl doing were fun :))

anyways. dun knw wat i am typing here too. very sleepy. very shag. shall sleep early in camp tonite.

2007-06-03T10:55:00.000+08:00

it had been a very short week last this week due to the public hol on thurs and the fact tat my battlion was having block leave. :)) but then all these was kinda undone as i had to do guard duty yesterday splitting my hols into 2. i have to book in again tonite but at a much later time.

Mon- Wed
these 3 days were practically spent outfield at Pasir Lebar Camp where we stayed in a so called "chalet" for 3 days. well, it was jus the FIBUA site that we kinda converted into our makeshift house for the 3 days. over the 3 days we had a SUMMEX exercise for our Infantry Section Training and guess wat, my section under Sgt Tong Meng came in the Best Section :)) it was really a satisfyin end to a rather slack outfield. after that on wed, we headed back to clean arms and to book out. upon which i proceeded for dinner and a movie with dom at AMK Hub. caught Shrek 3. was kinda nice and funny. though the storyline was quite predictable.

Thurs
basically nua at home for the whole day before going out for yet another movie with Alvin, Wl, Merv and John in the evening. went to catch Zodiac. i must say that the movie though lack action made up for it thru its slow unvielling of the plot and the characters and we get to have a more indepth understanding of the characters. ooh. and yes, i saw Mr Tuang over at PS when i was at the ATM drawing money.

Fri
slept till noon coz i was really darn shag and straight away shower and change before heading out to meet elly at bugis for dinner. haha. was suppose to meet her at 4 and Her Royal Princess arrived royally late at 5plus. not that i am complaining or wat. *winkx* yeah, and we were suppose to be eating at Fish &Co and somehow after walking in circles around Bugis. we jus cant find it. so in the end we decided to settle for Sakae Sushi again (maybe she din realise. haha. but everytime when am out with her always happen to be eating that :X) and ya, she was down at bugis coz she wanted to change her album cover for SHE. and yes, there so many ppl lining up to change that the ppl jus surronded the perimeter of half of bugis. madness.

over at Sakae, had dinner and chatted whilst i listen to her tell me stories about her sec school life. haha. it was really quite funny, some of the stories that she tell. and ya, would be looking forward ta more of it in the future. :)) after eatin, and seeing that there was still so many ppl, we decide to go shoppin......at Cold Storage. there was this particular section that was selling Jap Food in there and she was like browsing thru it fervently. bought quite a lot of stuffs from there too. haha. and i bought this 99% Cocoa Choc for her, would be waiting to get feedback from her as to how it taste like.

after that we headed up to see if there was alot of ppl and to her amazment, the ppl were nearly gone. so she faster went to change and in the end, she got wat she came for :)) she changed the Selina cover, though i think the Hebe one is cuter :X haha.

but all fun times muz come to an end. after that we walk around a bit before i have to go, coz i have to book in for guard duty :(( sadden.

Sat
whole day doin guard duty, nothing much to be said.

2007-05-27T17:30:00.000+08:00

POP Parade was the highlight of the week. finally i got my black beret. with this it marks the end of Trades Course and the start of a new phase- Infantry Training. before we proceed on to Armour Training. with this, also means that i can now book in and out in civi, get later book in timings and earlier book out timing. haha.

last week was outfield again. from mon to wed. actually i think from now on my weeks would be like this. going outfield for half the week then after that coming back to camp to recuperate. anyways this week would be a short week as we should be bookin out this wednesday nite if everything goes according to plan. then i shall cross my finger that this week my company wld not be doing any guard duty. otherwise it would be super sians as i think i sure kena wan. coz i have 3 extras to serve due to some stupid reason. if everything goes along nicely, it would be a super long weekend for us.

would be outfield again tomorrow. sianzation. havin some battle course for the 3 days. hope everything is alrite and that my saw is stil down so i can use my SAR :))

after my parade yesterday, went ta watch Pirates with ter, sara, sk and khai. caught the midnite show. and ya. the show was kinda draggy. but it was alrite. i muz say. shld watch since it is suppose to be the last of the installment. now wld be waiting for the other nice movies to open so i can go watch. next week Shrek 3. haha

bookin in later in the nite. tink i am gg to head to bed straight. coz i am quite tired. din slp more than 9 hrs in total over the past week due to "admin" purposes. sucks. but ya. have to suck it in and press on.

2007-05-20T18:06:00.000+08:00

wat did i do last week? went outfield lo for 3 days for spa retreat where i had mud bath, enjoy nature and slpt with mosquitoes. gg to do it again tmr. sianssss.... zzzzz.... good thing it's onli 3 days 2 nites. i think i wld die if it's longer. haha. to simply put it i love the outfield as long as it doesnt rain :)) wells, that was more or less wat i did for the last week. nth much.

Friday.

Book Out Day!!! we book out darn early last friday and i quickly rushed home as i was suppose to meet poh ru for dinner at Lot 1 before proceeding down to Holland Village for some drinks at Harry's where there is a live band. meet poh ru for dinner and we went to eat at Ajisen Ramen coz she got a cravin for Tom Yam Ramen. lol. sat there till it closed then send her home. after that i took a bus down to Holland Village to meet up with elly, sk where we went to Harry's for our weekly live band performance. :P yeah, and at someone's request, went to help her dian ge. lol. ooh. and phoebe joined us later. apparently that nite, MI had their Sports Day too. heard it was pretty good. too bad i left the sch alr.

Saturday.

nothing much done to be said. jus went to catch the movie "Next" whereby i think it was rather nice with a rather surprise ending.

Sunday.

Went to catch blades of glory. funny shits. haha recommended to watch for some laughs.

going back for more spa treatment tmr. wld be out in the field till wed. gg mandai. shucks. then come back clean gun again then after that the next day is CO Parade followed by my Black Beret Presentation on Saturday. i think this weekend is gg to be a short weekend unless my company gives us mon off. which i dun think they wld la. since i have guard duty on that monday. so ya. short weekend. so muz plan it properly. oh ya. and pirates open next week. muz watch muz catch. haha.

2007-05-13T18:06:00.000+08:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Thursday

Day 1 of my block leave. didnt do much today but rather spend the whole day with some of my plt mates, Andrew, Zheng Ting, Yiheng, Reagan. started off the day by going to this restuarant in Chinatown to yumcha. we basically whacked a lot of dim sums. haha. and we jus were too full in the end to move. after that we headed down to vivo for movie and walkaround. caught the movie 28weeks later, and i muz say that unless u enjoy the gore and violence dun watch the movie. :)) haha. and after a long time i finally had ben & jerry's!!!! heex. michs was jealous that i keep eating them as i keep tellin her about how nice it was and even send her a pic to prove my point. lol

ooh. bought a pair of sneakers!!! happy. lol. it was to replace my spoilt pair. well. it felt good shopping. we walked the entire vivo quite a few times and everytime tat we walked, the ppl lining up for doughnuts at that doughnut shop doesnt seem to go down. muz really go try it 1 day. after around evening time, we all jus headed home after a long hard day of shopping, eating and playing.

Friday

Day 2 of block leave. today spend it with my MI classmates. headed off to town to do some shopping by myself first and bought some clothes. elly joined me around evening or rather later and we headed off to Sakae @ wheelock for dinner. yeah. and we were totally famished. then sk happen to be there already then so he joined the both of us for dinner. there was a long line of ppl waiting at to get in there and we lined up for quite some time before we could get a seat inside. we were there till it closed before we joined the rest at Holland Village for some drinks

took a cab down to holland village. and the rest of them were already there. wells, not all of them were able to join us as sara was bookin out on sat onli and khai was confine, ter had fieldcamp, pohru had to work. so ya. the drawbacks of serving our nation. :P we headed off to this bar called Harry's Bar for some drinks as they had a live band there. well, pubbin really beats clubbing. that's wat i think la. at least i dun get all so smoky after i come out. we sat down there till it closed around 1am then headed off to Eski Bar jus down the street for yet some more drinks.

wells, the nite is young so y waste it? haha. over at eski, got a challenge to stay in that cold room for 5mins so i jus took up the challange and stayed in there. wth. it was really cold lo. was freezing when i came out. haha. got my free drink and i ordered Lychee Martini!! love that drink ever since i drank it at The Balcony. but then, the mixture over at Eski was too thick. wells, elly had 1 too. and she was complaining the same thing too. lol. we sat till Eski close then wanted to chill out some more so we found some place to sit and eat. but by then, chui yee and dom had to leave as they had something on individually later in the day.

the time now was 2am.

we went to Crystal Jade to eat, but the food there was nearly finished. so we decide to take a cab to geylang to eat. but as the taxi passed by town, we saw this hawker centre still open so we headed off down there to eat. yum yum! elly and i shared kangkong, cockles and la-la together. bleahs. and after that i was seriously too full to move or rather i cant move at all. lol. then we walked around an otherwise deserted town for a while, sat and talk kok then headed off home.

the time then was 5am. :))

Saturday & Sunday

didnt do much as i decide to stay home and rest and save $$$. spent alot over the past 2 days. grrrr, need to start saving already.

hell, i am even bookin in soon and with this book in it marks the start of my infantry section training, which means lots of outfield. hate it but wat to do, i jus have to do it. :(( sucks but ya. no point complaining. hope this phase would go over soon and after that it is preperation for National Day which means even more weekends burn.

2007-05-09T23:20:00.000+08:00

It's MY Day!!!

yeah. and it's purely coincidental that i am havin block leave during this period. so that means i can celebrate the end of trade's course and my birthday together. haha got 2 days of block leave before i start on my infantry phase training. and yeah. hate being outfield.....

haha... wat an interesting birthday i had today. got a nice "present" from my platoon mates. a song from them too. and birthday wishes from unexpected ppl. hmmm. am touched. :)) esp michy. she started my day and she ended my day for me.

oooh. and yes. going to enjoy myself throughly these block leave. haha. starting tmr, when i go yumcha with my plt mates early in the morning, followed by a movie.

brand new year, brand new start.

2007-05-06T01:21:00.000+08:00

went out with dom today. and we caught 200 pounds beauty. quite an interesting and nice show to catch. dun mind recommending you to catch it if u have the time :)) after that we headed for shopping and we practically walked the whole of orchard. jus window shoppin. haha. and i am proud to announce that my list of things that i wanna get is complete. wheeeeeee. wells, and town was rather quiet today. think it's due to the mid year exams. that y there is a shortage of people walking ard in town.

top on my list is W850i. wanna go get it already. next week perhaps. then the other items would slowly slowly follow.

ya. feel like be a little reflective here today. been a very awaful week for me whereby i learn several lessons......the hard way......though it did cause me certain heartbreak and a fair amount of anger (nvr been angry in a long while, irritated yes, angry no) anyways i was kinda expectin it too. don't think i was ever wrong with my analyst. but i guess, the flame jus died out. hmmm. but i am really glad with the people ard me tat jus gave me support....my plt mates....my frenz.....

once again for the upteem time this week, i am thrown with the question as to wat type of gers i like. well, personally i prefer gals that can hold a conversation with me aka talking cock, any types and every types. dont ever talk serious stuffs with me. i can never hold such a conversation for long before getting bored about it. haha. i prefer conversations tat can revolved around everything. having a gf that can talk and put a grin on my face and a smile in my heart is much better than a touchy feely one. and there are only a few that can really fill this bill. of coz i am not going to name them. but ya. there is 1 particularlly that stands out from the rest. haha. but it's kinda late and there is still much that i wanna write but am too lazy. shall keep it for next week when i have my block leave.

anyways, big day next week and coincidentally it coincides with my leave. so ya. of coz i am happy. guess friday would be going out with the guys and elly. PUBBING not CLUBBIN mind you. haha somewhere in Holland V with live band for company. whoopieeee.

2007-05-01T15:10:00.000+08:00

SpiderMan 3 opens today and yes, i have jus caught it. rather nice i must say. though it's quite touching and more like a love story between Mary Jane and Peter Parker.

book out yesterday night and was suppose to go to look for Poh Ru at her hse. but due to some stupid reason cooked up by my simply lovely company-Glory. we ended up bookin out super late again and we are expected to book back in again tonight. no comments abt them jus that i think that this is f*** up. yeah. and their actions normally leave us exasperated and frustrated. jus like wat we were told when we first came. "Wrong Company. Wrong Platoon" everything about them is wrong. even NCC seem more efficent then them. i think ncc clts and specs can do a better job than my coy's. yeah. more i talk about it more i would get irritated. expectin a super late book out again this friday due to some "reasons" and an super book in on sat to "prepare" for live shooting, though we jus clean the guns yesterday.

well, matter of time before realisation sets in and it really hit me hard on the head. haha. i dont feel sad which i amazing. rather i feel anger towards it.

hope this friday not too late book out. going to try out botak jones with poh ru? o.O hopefully. bleahs.

big day comin up next week :)) and i would be on navigation exercise. how nice.

2007-04-22T16:38:00.000+08:00

had a real tough week last week. had my SAW ATP for 2 days straight. din even sleep more thatn 2 hrs a day lo. then spend 1 nite cleaning my wife till quite late. tiring. not enuf sleep. haha. yes, i am complaining. but i have to lan lan suck thumb and do it lo. but it was really a tough week due to the sleep factor.

then straight that nite-- CLUBBING!!! flew straight home. suppose to pick up poh ru frm bukit batok at 930 and i left camp about 845. i was in a real hurry. went to pick up poh ru and we were royally late. reach there about 1030. met up with elly, sk, dom, michelle and vat with sara joining us later. had dinner at hooters then we rushed straight down to MOS coz there is free entry before midnite. haha. dun knw y got free entry. but who cares la. it's free :P hang out at the retro room for nearly the whole nite and the place was flooded with ang mohs lo. send poh ru home after we club and ya. it was a real long journey back to her hse. haha din knw that she stayed at joy tan's next door.

bookin into camp later. so it would be yet another sians week ahead.

2007-04-15T02:25:00.000+08:00

ok... didnt post for a very long time. wells, this weekend nothing special too. think i wanna go catch a movie tomorrow. and gotta prepare my no4 for RSM parade next week. so many things happening next week. wells, was suppose to go for a movie with piggo but in the end didnt coz her stomach was hurtin again. :(( hope it gets better coz the injury was there for quite some time already. and ya, worried about her.

spent the whole week in camp learning yet another 2 different types of weapons.

argh.... my ATP is next week. think i am not going to get marksman. it is so darn hard to hit with the SAW especially since i am a left hander and now have to switch over to right. i would be amazed if i even get a pass. why cant they jus have a left handed weapon? haha. makes things so much the easier. :))

haha. and ya, it has never been boring talking to peck yeng. been talking much more to her now that we are no longer senior and junior. quite an interesting little girl. somehow, she always manages to put a grin on my face and lift up my spirit regardless of how i am feeling. haha. go meanie!!! lol. i jus love talking to her coz she never fails to amaze me with the things that she says.

sometimes i jus wish that some people would jus stop comparing. it kinda irritating, esp if you knw tat you are better than that person or vice versa. eg. i do not drive or i cant drive. so izzit really a big deal? after all, there is always something call taxi. it sucks. and i hate to be compared.

aiya. dun knw wat i talking also la. continue tomorrow.

2007-04-01T18:53:00.000+08:00

went to visit piggo at the hospital again jus now. stayed there till around noon. then she ask me to go home as i have to book in and buy some stuffs, otherwise i would be late if i stayed with her. really nice of her. well, guess that's wat that make her stand out from the rest of my female frenz :P of coz there are other reasons why she's different from the rest. but that is for another time.

haha. 1 more month to our birthdays and we had already planned wat to do. planning to have a double celebration. but with onli the 2 of us.

hmmm. but am really worried about her. coz the pain is still there and still have not left. too bad i am servin NS or i would really wanna be by her side everyday. but i guess everything would be alrite. pray that God would be nice to her like how she is nice to me. LOL.

that's all for now. i wanna go pack my bag then book in already :P tough week ahead with lots of tests and live shoots.

2007-04-01T09:12:00.000+08:00

Get Well Soon!!! Piggo.......

my first weekend out after BMT. spend it in Tan Tock Seng the whole day, keepin piggo company. ya. she's being warded. and i am like worried about her. haha. got her this super big tazmania balloon and sunflowers for a sick patient like her :P ya. and she loves it. wells, after all gifts are suppose to be a gesture for the patient to get well. hmmm. dun knw how long she would be warded and i cant really be there for her as i have to book in tonite. so i guess i would be spending the mornng and afternoon with her today.

caught "the shooter" too yesterday with merv. haha. i would recommend to watch this movie. coz it is really quite nice. it's a story about a sniper taking revenge when he was set up. but the deeper meaning, you have to watch the movie to understand.

on a lighter note, made a new pair of specs yesterday. and i think its pretty cool. haha. wait ill i collect it next week. and ya. it doesnt come cheap -_-''

tata. leaving my hse now.

2007-03-25T01:47:00.000+08:00

My Wishlist

PSP
A3 Black Crumpler Bag
Laptop
Crumpler Laptop Bag to go with the laptop
Command & Conquer 3
New Specs
SE W900 or E65
A pair of new sneakers

2007-03-24T02:44:00.000+08:00

no mood to blog currently.

a lot of happenings in my life, making it extremely eventful.

this sucks.

a dream would always be a dream.

a wish would always be a wish.

my needs were never my own to begin with.

2007-03-18T12:29:00.000+08:00

highlight of the week: A Saturday Date with Fel aka Piggo.

been lookin forward for this date the whole week in camp. and yes, it's finally here. started off the day nicely by being early when meetin her. wells. this is 1 of the few times that i am early :P oops. ya. today she decided to be nice and come pick me up rather vice versa.

we headed off down west. to look for SAFRA Mount Faber (that was where our spa was located) and yes. we were so engross in talking that we miss Redhill Mrt station and ended up in dover. :X

and after not long, we found the place!!! haha. and that begins the first event of the day: Spa cum Massage.

started off with this backscrub, which was really soothing and relaxing. then proceeded off to soak in the jacuzzi.

jacuzzi!!! woah. it really rocks man. jus sitting down there with piggo and letting the bubbles "whack" you. it's real relaxing.

not to mention the shower cubicle. it's really a futuristic type of shower. with shower jets hitting u everywhere at the press of a button. too bad i cant afford it or i wld have jus gotten 1 for my toilet.

after that we had a massage and it was really muscle relieving. did not knw that my muscles ache that much due to training. and i really felt very relaxed after the massage. the whole thing lasted 2 hours. and i think that it was really money well spent.

headed down to sentosa after that for some tanning to get rid of the horrible tan lines that is engraved on my body. let me see. tatoo lines tanned onto my forehead, bra strap tan on my body, v shape tan on my neck. simply ugly. so i went to tan it off.......

but before that.....

let's have some fun first......

headed off to 4D magix,
coz i knw she loves it. :))

kinda blurred pic. but ya. we were at 4D Magix. took a pic outside and forgot to take inside. lol. though they were still playin the same pirates show. it was still jus as interesting. haha. another time perhaps.

and the lunge was next......

wow. it was really crowded there and we waited quite some time before we could ride down the slope.

going for lunge and waiting for our turn. haha. she looks nervous. :P though its not her first time on the lunge.

and yes, finally my tanning session came about. well, we realised that we were at the wrong end of sentosa. haha. wanted to go to Palawan beach but we ended up at Silosa beach. so decided to make do and jus lie there.

and we lazed and lazed and lazed.......

with.....

jus the 2 of us under the cool sentosa sun......
&

it resulted in her later......

staring into space.

she looks cool doesnt she?

we played with sand later. haha. i attempted to bury her and failed terribly. :P and ya. we resorted to writing words on each other instead. seems more fun? ya. and here are some words that we wrote.

Piggo!!! that's her

DumDum. that's me :))

and we took lots of photos for memory sake :))

haha and yes, we did try to be artistic. and here is 1 of our "artistic" photos.

against the sun, we stared out into the endless horizon (this is my most favourite pic)

Tall shadows on a sandy beach under the cool evening sun, for once she look as tall as me :))

but all good things must come to an end. and as the sun sets beyond the horizon so did we finally left the beach.

and took the skyride back up.......

a view from the top......with only the 2 of us......

and that marks the end of a remarkable day with her :))

2007-03-11T14:53:00.000+08:00

highlight of the week: 24km Route March

yay! POP soon! route march was interesting man. haha. and it's something that i hope that i onli need to try once. :P wells, we had our route march over the past week and during the march we really enjoyed ourselves with lots of cock talking. the singing onli occured towards the end of the march around the last 4 km or so. most of the journey was spend either talking cock with the sgts or among ourselves. came back to our company line around midnight and boys, was i shagged and tired. cant even move our tired legs up the stairs later.

games day & recruit's evening on friday. it was simply a blast. especially recruit's evening :)) totally rock! the rock concert was simply superb and i have never partied so wild before. lol. after that spirits were high as we went back to our bunk where some continued the partyin whilst i jus showered and slept. too shag to move. haha.

yesterday was suppose to go NUS with piggo. but as i book out late and she had to be back at NV by 5 (which happen to be the time the talk for her course was suppose to start) so we decide not to go. instead hurried down to meet her at northpoint for lunch. been hell of a long time since i last saw her and yes, i was excited in meetin her. bought her this cute pooh bear flower. had lunch at the food court where i tugged into my favourite nasi briyani (i think the briyani there is nice) and went jalan jalan for a short while before she had to hurry back to northview. send her back there.

well, if u think my day ended there it didnt. went to catch 300 with merv after that. and i must say that movie is fucking cool. i am definitely going to watch it again. everything about that movie is soooooo cool and nice. hmmm. during the movie received a msg frm piggo. she was quite depress. talk to her for some time and decide to be super nice to her after all she said i was a meanie :x. went to buy coffee and some chocs and delivered it down to northview for her. wanted to get her cappacino with caramel but then starbucks close so have to settle for MacCoffee. ya. she was surprise i guess, myself too. cant believe tat i am doin this :P when i brought the coffee for her.

ya. hope she's alrite. coz it had been a very stressful week for her. :)) i would be there for her. and yes, haha, going to demand a bedtime story from her tonight. coz everytime it seem to be me that is the one telling bedtime stories. grrrr. lol.

ya. next week got block leave. tot of going for a massage to relieve the tense and aching muscles. :)) after all, training is tough and we need to enjoy ourselves too.

2007-03-03T01:04:00.000+08:00

got back my A's results today. wldnt say it is that fantanstic but it was sorta expected from me. as expected. failed my econs. :S but ya. am alrite with it. well, generally across the board, arts students din do really that well this year even in other JCs. haha. sounds like i am findin excuses to cover up for my results. anyways i am not that worried coz my results is enough to make sure that i can apply and have a place in NUS and that is comforting enough or rather it is enough to make sure that i can go to the course that i want. either sociology or social work.

thanks alot to my deary piggo for soothing my nerves last nite in camp and this morning and most of all being there with me.........thru the phone. :)) really appreciate it. ooh. and not forgetting to congrat PIGGO for getting an A for her chinese. wah. if onli i am half as good as her. ya. i am feeling envious.

going with piggo to NUS next week for open house. wanna see the courses that are available there. and pray real hard that i dun kena RT or some shit that have to make me stay in camp. would be at my best behaviour next week in camp. no more insulting sgt ritesh, gets boring aft a while :X time spend with her is time well spend indeed.

on a sadder note, suppose to go kokup or however you spell that place name tomorrow with piggo and her family to play fireworks, but because of some kok ups now end up not going alr tot i got RT this weekend and she initially had to help out for her sch's orientation. suppose to be spending the weekend with her :(( so ya i would be in sg alone without you. sucks man. and it really feels different without having u physically here with me. would miss everything about you, esp you running your hands thru my hairless head, kinda enjoy it la. very soothing :P

started reading the Nora Roberts' novel that piggo lend me. quite interesting i must say. it really change my stereotyping mindset about romance novels. wanna carry on reading it. oh. haha and talking about Nora Roberts, i went to all the bookstores in town to find tat Nora Roberts' novel, Tears of the Moon and can you believe it! it's sold out everywhere!!! meant it to be a surprise for fel for her trip, so she got something to read but ya. wldnt be much of a surprise alr. got her chocs and famous amos cookies instead for her trip instead. (she suspects i am tryin to fatten her up :P) rofl. like this then she can be more of a piggo rite? oops :X

ok la. that's all for now. wanna go slp. din slp much in camp last week. had backto back activities plus insominia. tataz.

2007-02-25T15:54:00.000+08:00

Currently: Depressed & Shag

it was a rather eventful week last week with alot of happenings. somehow, depression jus seeps in. its an add on of lots of events and finally the load proved too much to bear. think it has something to do with fatigue. been unable to sleep in camp for the past week. keep tossing and turning in bed with thoughts that running through my head. no matter wat, they jus cant seem to stop. this jus sucks big time. i guess letting the matters unravel themselves would seem to be best.

hope tomorrow would be a better day.

PS: think i am soooo dead when i book in next week, haha. my section commander is sure going to kill and slaughter me for certain incidents. :)) misery on top of misery

2007-02-19T03:38:00.000+08:00

i'm a jealous lover :P

2007-02-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

So Marks the End of the First Day of CNY. ended off the 1st day with my 1st nap of the new year and could have slpt longer if not for the wake up call frm rene. O.O but cant sleep too much too la. later prove some ppl (feline) right that this year is indeed my year. oink. oink. haha.

started the day with a vist to the temple where my grandparents are housed and later to my uncle's hse where all my numerous uncles and aunties are gathered. and we had a lion dance performance there. and i spent the whole day rotting in front of the tv. :P

of coz the highlight of every CNY wld be the hongbao collection and muz say that this yr's collection is a little more than expected :)) haha. my dear little peck yeng keep reminding me to share it with her, statin that princesses ought to be pampered and since i am earning $$$ as an NSF i shld share it with her. bleahs. tsktsk.

and yes. how can i forget that nice CNY msg that meryl send me after i wish her "Happy CNY" to sum up. she basically said that it was my year and took the time to construct this super cute pig on sms for me. aint tha sweet of her? haha she always never fail to make my day with her actions :)) would get the pic up later. and that pig was suppose to look like me -_-''''' she always never fail to make herself the highlight of all the festive holidays. also doing something that i would jus remember. lol.

then was reading thru the horoscope today in the papers. something that i started doing frequently eversince i enlisted. haha dun knw y but NSFs seem to be very superstitious, especially those frm my coy. lol. anyways the horoscope went "Fresh starts only happen when old situations are finally put to rest. it may be difficult to let this come to a conclusion but it is necessary if you wan to move on with life. Breathe. Learn to accept reality" wells, was thinking about some stuffs yesterday along these lines and to think that the horoscope would provide such an answer to my question today. it is really darn coincident lo. wells, maybe i shld jus heed it after all that is wat that is holding me back i guess. but then some things are impossible. and this is one of them. maybe i din realise how much i am missing out on life.

it's kinda late already but jus wanted to post this up, even though valentine's may be over. saw something too that day while i was out CNY shoppin with merv. a little poem to sum up what is love, especially during the Valentine's Season.

Fight for Love,

it completes you.

it nourishes you.

it enriches you.

Dont let it slip away

Dontt let it escape

Dont let it fade into oblivion

Keep the throes of passion burning

Keep the sweet conversations going

& most of all,

Keep your love alive.

wells. this too is kinda late. had a belated Valentine's Day celebration with feline after i book out on friday. bleahs. i cant believe that i actually rush lo due to her ending school earlier than expected. yes, i am complaining! :P heex.

it wasnt really a very lavish celebration, but rather jus a really simple one as we both jus dun have the time. bought her a bouquet of flowers and she was pleasantly surprise, think she din expect that coming from an unromantic person like me. :P and after that we headed down to vivocity where i treated her to Gold Class as we catch Ghost Rider. nice movie. nice setting.

after that we headed down to carl's junior for a simple late lunch. all the time, she jus cant stop playin with my hair. not that it's nice to play or she play it all the time. ha. but once in a while she would jus go rub it like its some sort of lucky charm. -_-'' after our late lunch, send her home in a cab with me inside of coz. :P and yes, we jus went to 2 places. her hse and mine. and the cab fare came up to $40. haha reason i am statin this here is that i am hopin some ppl would be feelin guilty :D some forms of reparations wld be nice kekeke. wells, pictures would be up later as i am too LAZY to post them.

last but not least. know how i spend my Valentine's? with a bunch of guys on an offshore island. DOING GUARD DUTY.

2007-02-18T01:28:00.001+08:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

2007-02-09T01:42:00.000+08:00

booking in then bookin out again in 24hours :))

2007-02-07T16:36:00.000+08:00

on mc from training. so stayin at home to rest. wells, miss my live grenade throw and 12km route march. expecting to stay back during the weekends to make up for it already. stayin at home could be quite fun especially if you are not schooling and you jus lazed in bed the whole day which is wat i did la, much to the chagrin of feline who moans the fact that she got school. lol.

bookin back in again on friday. and ya. would be out on saturday evening. and would be excuse footwear for the next week i guess. sianxation. anyways would be passing out soon. haha. yay! but then still got a year and a half more. :((

wells, SAF lifeguard seems like a nice vocation to be. haha. 8 to 5 job. jus sit there and guard the pool. sounds interesting and boring at the same time.

yes. and we ex guys of o4B4 tot of having a CNY reunion dinner sometime soon. depending on our availability. hmmm. results should be coming out soon......very soon...... since the O's are being release this friday. got totally no confidence in my results. am prepared to disrupt my NS to retake my A's. that is wat some of my plt mates and i are considering.

have already decided on 2 routes that i may consider taking after i finish my NS.
1. not going to continue my studies. but rather going to set up my own business after my NS.
2. Sign on with SAF. haha. madness man. but ya. taking this 2 years as a trial period to see whether NS life suits me. if so, i may consider signing on lo after NS.

and last but not least...........

introducing..........

my poor toes..........

2007-02-04T11:16:00.000+08:00

The Highlight of the Week: Situational Test or Sit Test for short & The Singapore vs Thailand Match

caught the Singapore vs Thailand match in our annex room. rather half my company was there watching the match and our sgts were watching it too in the company office. haha. and the prelude to the match was very exciting. with us recruits doing everything super fast in really record time so as to be back in time for the match. RO too was also push forward so that we all could watch the match. haha. after that, the annex room was flooded with guys all wanting to watch the match. emotions were high as there were lots of cursing and swearing and booing during the match. and when singapore scored. everyone ran out and we created so much noise that during the sit test. Apache which was havin RO told us that they knew singapore scored coz of the noise we made. haha. we were all so darn happy that some even ran the entire floor shouting GOAL!!!! i guess the atmosphere there was like how it was back at the National Stadium. it is like watching the match live.

spend yet another 3 days outfield. but then this time round. the enviroment is slightly better. with fair and sunny weather and super cold winds. this time with nature is time well spent. reclaimed land is really a nice place to go for training. with tall lalangs and thick vegetation, not to mention lots of sand. you really have to go there to see for yourself. but the winds at night can be so super cold that we have to wear full no4 plus goretex, but then it still feel cold. brrrrr.

Day 1: basically lots of lessons as they taught us the basics that we needed to knw for the test. then it was admin time for the rest of the day, whereby we cougar babies had a gathering jus under the stars by a shady tree.

Day 2: Sit Test begins with us having to plan and excecute 6 missions with lots of running, arti drills, day movements etc. started off with a fast march that was more like running. haha it was tiring but fun. then it was admin time all the way again.

Day 3: last day of Sit Test. started the day with fast march and lots of tekkaning as the sgts try ways and means to tire us out. 6 missions to be completed and we did it very quickly. then it was back to company line.

it was only during sit test that we cougar babies realised how lucky we were to have sgts like our company sgts. coz at least we were treated like an equal, like a man. the other companies sgts do not really seem to treat the recruits like humans. more like lots of tekkaning and no welfare. whereas for Cougar there is a balance of both. welfare and discipline. it was only then that we begin to appreciate our sgts more. ya. and we all miss our company line, our beds, our buddies, our shower. haha. and for me, MY 2 PIECE KFC CHICKEN MEAL!!! lol.

training was quite xiong for the last week, esp for me coz i could not walk properly. partly due to my half healed ankle and the blister at my toe that was there since field camp. so it was quite an uphill task tryin to run. but well, lots of fighting spirit. muz press on and perserve. ok, that kinda crap la. haha coz i dun wan RT during block leave or on weekends ;) haha.

well, think this upcoming Valentine's is going to be a boring one again. coz i would be in tekong and my weekend burn again coz i am bookin out in the evening. this sucks man. :(( had plans and now have to postphone.

2007-01-28T17:07:00.000+08:00

back from field camp. hurt my ankle during field camp and had to spend the rest of field camp at company line doing saikang. not a bad experience i must say doing saikang. rather interesting too. had my 2nd 2 weeks confinement due to field camp and boy, was i happy when i book out :)) bookin in again soon. and sit test coming up this week. grrrr. going outfield again. my platoon mates and i are growing to love to hate the outfield. brrrr.

spent saturday with my B4 guy classmates. went to the Balcony at heeran there for some drinks after eatin at swensen's. haha. did a lot of talkin kok and catching up. it's becoming more and more like a regular must have event for us.

well, finally remembered the "official" Cougar Company Song. and it goes this way.

Every step i take
Every move i make
Every single day
Every time i pray
i'll be missing you

Looking back the days
Golden memories
Me and my buddy
Cougar Company
Cougar Company

Oh, cant you see
You belong to me
Cougar Company
Cougar Company
Cougar Company

a short but rather meaningful song which strike our hearts when it was first sung. and you could hear ppl singing it everywhere. even in the showers.haha. next week would be a rather xiong week coming up. and yes, going to POP soon :))

many smiles and many cheers. unable to update as often as i like. but ya. would try to do so whenever i can.

and to all those ppl that i owned "outings" would make it up to you all step by step. haha.

2007-01-14T08:51:00.000+08:00

Book Out! Book Out Day!!!

book out last friday and came home straight to rest coz i was darn sleepy. alot of interesting happenings in both my section and platoon. haha. some of you may have known. coz i was tellin it to you all. the new intake has finally come in.

saturday was spent with john, alvin and wei liang kayaking. before that, we went to changkat to collect our stuffs. but sad to say, it was all missing. especially my photos which i think are simply priceless coz i only have a set of them. my CLT Course POP, Sec 3 Mount Ophir. Everything gone. :(( all i have left now are the memories that are stored in my tinny winny brain.

it was raining intially and being the brave souls that we are, we ventured out to sea regardless of the weather. before long, much to our relief, the weather got better and we were able to move beyond the red bouy at changi beach. intially planned to go to frog island but later we made our way to chek jewa to see the reefs. but to our disappointment, the tide was high and we were unable to see the reefs that were underneath us. after that we made our way to frog island to rest. chilling out there a while, we made our way back to mainland. after that proceeded down to J8 for a movie- "Blood Diamonds" think the movie was not bad as it raises awareness amongst the people that there are ppl suffering out there and ppl that need our help badly. the anarchy that exists withn the African Nations.

wldnt be bookin out this weekend due to fieldcamp. and after that it's SIT Test. bleahs. hope i wld survive outfield man.

2007-01-06T11:42:00.000+08:00

A Simple Tribute to Uncle Daniel.

It seems like only like yesterday that i gotta know him through young wardens, a ministry which i joined back at st. mike's and though i do not know him that well. the times which i talked to him would be well remembered. i remembered that when i was new to wardens and servin my first healing mass, it was him that advised me wat to do and how to do. and he was ever patient in teaching us. he was also a nice person to talk too with a sense of humour and that sparkle in his eye. whenever you walked past him, he would never fail to greet u with a "Hi" and a smile or a wink in his eye would follow. and this is what and how i remembered him by.

i believed that from what my parents said, that he fought a good fight with cancer before the Lord decided that it was time to join him, and join him he did.

May he find Eternal Peace in the Kingdom of Heaven & may his memories lived in each and everyone of us forever.

uncle daniel passed away a few days back and his funeral is today with prayers last night.

some may question me why i dont attend the funeral service today. the reason is simple. i would always have a funeral for them in my heart. nothing can beat that. it doesnt matter where or when you are. as long as you remember them in your heart for the things that they have done, or said. it is enough. as it shows that the memories of them would lived with you forever. no one like to see friends or loved ones passing away. myself included. i hate seeing people that i know leaving me 1 by 1. but that is a way of life that i must accept. heartless you may say for not attending. a rite is a physical emboidentment of mourning. but the actual mourning, to me takes place in your mind and in your heart, where it would always be happening, day in day out.

no one lives forever except in our hearts and our minds' eye. they do. they really do. and when it is time to return home to our Lord. it is these memories that would preserved them with us and make it seem as if they have never left us and would be with us always and everywhere.

2007-01-05T12:40:00.000+08:00

gad a fairly short week this week in camp. spend 2 days there before booking out for my weekend which sadly to say ends on a saturday. next week is going to be a rather long week as i would be spending a day more in camp.

the physical training phase has finally started and we are jammed pack with programs but there are also days in which we could have quite a few hours of admin time in the afternoon. that is when we would catch up on our sleep and rest our sore muscles. haha. but it is rather fun i must say as we would push ourselves and motivate our mates to complete the various exercises that are thrown in our way.

field camp coming up the following week. wonder how it would be like. ha. but i muz say that bmt is not as bad as ppl make it out to be cept for the paranormal sightings that would really freak one out. but then i still have about 1 yr plus to go. so still too early to say whether ns is cool or not.

actually got alot of things to blog about bmt. but then, dont really have to mood to sit down and think and blog. coz it's like going to take ages. bleahs. haha. maybe next time ba.

2006-12-30T12:27:00.000+08:00

book out yesterday morning. and had lunch with mark coz it was his birthday :)) celebratin with him and the rest of the guys later. evening was spent with louisa. that's like about all about my boring boring life.

haha. BMT is really quite fun, though my section mates and i are wondering why our coy is so darn relaxed. it could be partly due to the rain thus explaining our many many admin time. after all, cougar coy is suppose to be 1 of the most xiong coys in Sch 1. but i think that the worst is yet to come. :P

in these 3 weeks that i have been there, i've completed my live range (coy's policy that a soldier needs to knw how to shoot before he can carry on his BMT) & first aid test & M16 technical handling test. right now, we're embarking on our physical training phase. haha and as compared to the other coys, our's is like the most xiong already. coz we skipped brisk walking and went straight into jogging, increasing our rounds weekly. field camp coming up next month. brrrrr..... outfield for a week. haha wonder how would it be like.

think Platoon 2 Section 1 rocks man. most happening section in the entire cougar. filled with jokers and entertainers. life there is never boring. to top it up. we have portable tv to watch and other section secret entertainments. shhhhh.

and OMFG. guard duty is a killer. not because of the hrs. but rather becoz of the blisters that you would get after doing it. haha. lesson learn. bring powder and wear double layer socks. but my virgin guard duty experience was actually quite fun, though i think not many ppl would describe it as being so. my coy is down for 2 more guard duties. partly due to the fact that we only consists of 2 platoons instead of 4. and i must say that the 2 platoons' bonding goes fairly deep even though we may not see eye to eye on certain issues.

ooh. and next week is a darn relax week. haha. tues nite book in. thurs nite book out. lol. but the followin week would be longer for us already. coz we would be spending more days in camp.

anyways shall update more later. that's all for now. gotta go shower and go out already. :))

2006-12-25T05:02:00.000+08:00

Merry X'mas

may all your wishes and dreams come true this festive season & may you experience

peace, joy & love

2006-12-24T11:09:00.000+08:00

my first bookout, this weekend :)) been lookin forward to this. and i am all home alone coz my family is overseas and i do not have any plans at all this christmas. well, the only christmas presents that i am gettin other than the ones that my frens have already gotten for me are daily necessities that i would be bringing with me when i check into Palau Tekong Resort.

spend yesterday with my class guys, though sara was unable to make it cos he was locked in his house. haha. funny. we had dinner at Speghettis at Paragon (however u spell it) and it was really crowded in the evening. bleahs. and it's only like 7 plus lo. caught the sneak preview for Death Note 2 and i must say that it is not as disappointing as most sequels are but the only drawback was that it was a little too long. the movie stretched to nearly 2 and a half hours.

town yesterday was really packed like sardines like how the newspaper reported. well, saw a lot of familiar faces around town yesterday. the most notable being cheryl. :) while the rest were either my section commanders or my section mates and an ex budd.

oh ya. and like to sign off wishing all a Merry Christmas Eve!!! and Cougar Warriors Rocks!!!

2006-12-09T02:16:00.000+08:00

Enlistment Day!!!

off to tekong :)) be right back for christmas!!!

shall blog about it more when i return. been a fun 2 wks pior to enlistment. had great fun and i hope all of my frenz out there and together with me on the island resort have lots of fun times too. though i doubt so :P

2006-12-07T02:49:00.000+08:00

2006-12-02T15:25:00.000+08:00

came home from chalet yesterday. haha. it was darn fun la. check in with fel on the 1st day earlier and the rest came later in the nite. then we started our 1st bbq. haha. fel and i cooked for them. and it was pretty interesting as the food was a little uncooked, which would be an understatement by the way. haha. and i got banned from the pit on the 2nd nite as a result. haha.

as it is a chalet for all guys, it is customary for all of us to get drunk. the booze was free flowin with each of us contributin 1 bottle or more. and ya, since fel was around on the 1 st nite we were a little more restraint in our drinking. haha the 2nd nite was different. all hell broke loose. hell lot of fun and jacking. and we even attempted to start a campfire. :P but that is not all la. there were other funny incidents that happen too. but too lazy to blog about it. coz it's quite hard to type on the laptop that i am using now. so maybe shall carry on later.

right now am at merv's hse tryin to wrk out this problem that we have with our warcraft cd. geez, this sux man

2006-11-28T22:19:00.000+08:00

off to chalet tomorrow :))

would be much more fun than you know wat ;)

2006-11-23T23:11:00.000+08:00

It's OVER!!!!
Officially as of 21st November 2006. A Levels is Over! and so is education for me. Screw it man!! this day has like finally come aft 3 loooong years of waiting. am glad to be over and done with it, regardless of the results.

started off my 1st day of freedom with a visit to kumar's chalet. it was an MI All Guys Chalet. haha. where we spend the time gambling. made a modest profit frm it. aft tat headed down to Katong Shopping Centre whereby mark, sara, jon, sj and me thaw the nite gaming. caught the bus home later. was suppose to go down with john to st gab's coz they were havin their annual camp but was too shag that i pang seh him, choosin instead my bed over him :P

well, today went exercising with john and a lesson learn is nvr to go exercising with an NSF. :P they wld do all sorts of funny exercises. esp if they are sadistic officers or specs. wahaha. ya. aft that headed down with john to st gab's, where we spent the rest of the morning.

jus being there brought back alot of memories. it has been a long while seen i went back there. haha. and it's amazing that the teachers still remember me :)) well, guess i was jus a thinny whinny too prominant during my sec sch days that left an impression on them. haha, maybe 1 day, i would jus tell my real sec sch story not the censored one.

anyways, vincent, riozhard, john and i sat down and talk about old times and upcoming NS. and like how john puts it "it is all these tekaning experiences that we received during our NCC life that makes it so memorable to us after we leave that we still remember them" truth to tell, i still remember my ncc times. i would say that it's really true. i seem to remember all the times we had during training and in school. well, like some of us like to say "if the cadets liked us, then we are doing something wrong" hehe. the fun, the torturous, the sad times. dun mind going through them again. would say they are more fun than my pre u days. and the friends that i make there are more lasting than there too. :))

long day ahead tmr. meetin meow. going out with meow. collect my pack. then. later with my makkals.

2006-11-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

Hail Comarades!!!

Commencing the Final Phase of Operation DTEBBQCC293001.........

Initiating Sequence......

Sequence soon to be completed......95% completed

For Our Motherland!!!

2006-11-19T22:45:00.000+08:00

6 DOWN, 2 to go.

2 more days and i would be free!!!!!!!!!

i really cant wait for it to be over man. so many plans. so many things to do. just before enlistment. haha. i think i am in post A levels mood already. starting to relax a little bit liao. and who cares about the results? aft all what done is done. the papers are already in London waiting to be picked up to be marked. so let's party away while we let some foreigners decide our fate.

2006-11-18T00:30:00.000+08:00

let's do a little self reflection here, with regard to my NCC career which has drawn to a closure with the submittion of my Gold Cert Application recently. it is a grand total of 7 fruitful years that i have served the corps. 4 as a cadet. 3 as a CLT. and i am definitely proud to be in St Gab's Air Unit. winning the Best Air Unit 3 times out of my 4 years there really stiffen our backbone and instill us with a overwhelming sense of pride for our unit.

i started off as a fresh cadet in Part A in St Gabriel's NCC (AIR) Unit in the year 2000. The year in which our unit officially became a school unit. and i belonged to the 1st batch of school cadets. we numbered 50 Part A cadets initally and as the years went by, our numbers dwindled and at the end at our ROD in sec4, we numbered 30 cadets in our part. not that i am racist or wat. but our part of totally devoid of muslim cadets. not a single one remain after we hit part B.

Part A and Part B was probably the most fun years of my life as Air Cadet.

brotherhood and unity truly existed amongst us. there was no power struggles, no politics playing, no backstabbing. all was well, and all was fun. we suffered together, we had fun together. this is something that money cant buy. even to this very day, we still bear scars of "suffering" that we endure and to a certain extent enjoyed during our cadets day. my callous palms, whose skin had harden due to the many pumpings that we did on the turmac road under the hot sun. i was lucky to participate as part of the Guard of Honour Contigent for my school's speech day when i was in Part A. and that was probably a proud moment for me as a new cadet. that, besides my promotion to LCP was a defining moment for me.

come the following year, i was in Part B. and i would admit that i did got bored of NCC after a while due to the same old stuffs that we do, week in, week out. but quitting was not on my mind due to the many friends that i have made there. i am also proud to announce that half my part came from my class, 2E2. :)) and ya. it was a rather uneventful year with me gettin my CPL rank after attending Silver Wing.

Part C: a defining year for all of us as this year would be the year that we are judged and appointed accordingly to our abilities as leaders of the unit. this was when all the wayanging and all the backstabbing starting appearing. cracks started to appear in our otherwise united part. but 1 thing, that all of us have to admit was that when we are out of school and in HQ NCC or anywhere whereby we are representives of the unit, our unit was unbrokable, unshakable. but despite these negative points, when it comes to handling tasks, we would put aside our differences and work with professionalism in completing it with efficency. it was during this year that i went for my 1st overseas trip to Gunung Ledang and many of the ppl that were there with me were also my platoon mates in CLT Course.

towards the latter half of the year, we were finally appointed with appointments in the Unit. i was appointed the RSM (Regimental Sergent Major) of St Gabriel's NCC (AIR) Unit and that was probably the proudest moment in my career as a cadet at secondary school level. but with power comes responsibility. and that was my first real task as a leader. working closely with the USM and 2 ASMs to run the unit. each of us have our own different tasks and responsibilities. it also gave experiences with working with my peers and it taught me ppl management which would help greatly later on as a CLT.

Part D: we were in the twilight of our cadet years, and each of us, i must admit were not looking forward to stepping down as it would mean the drawing of the curtain our cadet years. i felt the same way too as i know that this unit that gave me 4 meaningful years would leave me yearning for the unit and i would really miss it. finally, all good things must come to an end, and it was with great sadness that we stepped down. i could still remember the tears that whelm up in the eyes of some of my peers. and i could still remember the speech that Leonard, our USM gave which was done in a tone of sadness and pride. such memories are priceless.

despite the many politic playing and power struggles that existed in Part D. i still throughly enjoyed myself. the ego clashes, the fun times, such things are hard to forget.

i decided to sign on for the 46th Intake of CLTs to come back to my unit as a CLT and to bring them to greater heights. i was not the only one that had this thinking. Alvin and Wei Liang too shared the same thinking as me. and it was with this in mind that we signed on.

CLT Course really opened my mind to many things. it was the toughest course that i had ever went through. 3 weeks of pure hell. and the only time that we get to book out is Saturdays, and i could still remember us counting down to the days that we book out and pass out. CLT Course challenged me physically and mentally. and our CLT Course was not like how it is now. it was the last course that can actually be considered as a course that tekan you mentally and physically. the intakes that comes after us were trained in the different way with much more emphasis being placed on welfare rather than discipline.

which 46th CLT could ever forget the Lieutanants that took us? the tekan that we went through. the highlights of the Course was the Hell nights that we received nightly without fail. and the climax of it was probably the shifting of bunks. where the entire course was given 12 mins to evacuate frm both BLK 245 and 246 with all our barang barang, pillow case, blankets and bedsheets. the marching from point to point and the shoutings and scoldings that we get whenever we fail to perform up to our instructors' very high expectations. it was an honour for me to be selected in the 1st Welcome Guards. and the Guest of Honour was the Chief of Army, MG Desmond Kwek.

Syndicate 5 which was the syndicate that i belong in was happening man. haha. all the cheers that we did. the pain that we endured. the many tears that we shed for one another. and the encouragement that we gave some of our platoon mates who wanted to quit coz the course was too tough. it really bonded us. how many of us could actually forget the Rain Incident. the turning point for us. the talk cock session that we had after that which resulted in us ending up in tears as we repented from our mistakes and wrongdoings.

and it was after 3 weeks of hardship, fun and suffering that we passed out officially as CLTs of the 46th Intake. this was when the journey truly begin for us as newly appointed leaders.

my CLT life though was fun was also filled with sadness and heavy responsibilities. everything come at a price. i belonged to the pioneer batch of Supernumeries that HQ NCC had set up.

i thought that i could return to St Gab's as a CLT but i was wrong. we had too many CLTs and my new CO suggested that we stay at another unit to gain experience and to learn. i felt betrayed, i must admit. and this was the 1 motivating factor that spur me on as a CLT. i want to be the best that i can ever be. to prove to my new CO that it was a mistake to let us go and not take us in. thus, we went to Changkat Changi NCC (AIR) Unit. we went there reluctantly initally, but as time went by, we felt a sense of belonging and a sense of duty towards the unit.

i have no regrets being at Changkat. in fact, i am happy to be there as i really learn much more as a leader, as a person, as a CLT over there then i ever would at St Gab's. this was what that really mould me and transformed me. even though, deep down in my heart i still yearn to be back at St Gab's. i chose to remain there. because of a promise that i made to my Part to see them through to Part D and i would honour my promise as it is my duty to them as a leader.

the 1st year there was not easy. NPCC was the pre dominant CCA there. and our team tried to break the monopoly that they created. it was not easy and it landed us in hot soup sometimes for our actions for the good of the unit. we felt that it was worth it. it was with much effort and it took us a year to finally break the stranglehold that they have. and i am proud to announce that NCC is the dominant CCA there. and it was not only our team's effort. the cadets had just an important role to play too in it. it was through all these that i learned man management, writing of proposals, being a big brother to them etc.

2005 marks the opening of our female unit. and now the CLTs have to multi task. but kudos and all thanks to Yue Yun for training the gals. i guess i never got around to telling you how appreciative we were of it. but well, things would never be the same again. and ya, dun think you be hearing this from me. Thank You & I'm Sorry.

the highlight of my CLT career would probably being appointed as Air 2IC before moving on to being Air OIC. with such a title came huge responsibilities and i had to bear the burn of the actions of some of my clts at times and served as a mediator at other times. i've improved much more a leader and a person at this point, i feel. and of course, the exchange programs that i went which seriously improved my communication skills and people relations. it was truly a great learning experience.

well, in the end i was awarded with an Outstanding CLT Award in recongnition of my contributions and achievements. but i would say this dwarf my other achievements. My Greatest Achievement would be to have put Changkat on the map of NCC and to have laid the foundations for the makings of a rising Unit. this is my greatest achievement as a CLT.

i have never regretted being a CLT even though there were a few incidents that left a sour feeling in me. being a CLT taught me skills and gave me experiences that cadet life would never have given me. it taught me much and such skills would be put to use in the real world next time. as i leave NCC for the real this time, i know i would miss the organisation and the times that i had there. these are truly and really memories that can never be forgotten or replaced.

Thank You! NCC, for the 7 years of experiences and self exploration that was given to me.

2006-11-17T23:49:00.001+08:00

Question to Ponder:

Is the Pot calling the Kettle Black?

let me make something crystal clear here. i am offering my help, if one wanna take it, one take it. if one dont, dont make lots of noise at the end that may imply this and that. and yes, this is a disclaimer. if one feel that what i, the author says needs clarification or confirmation, approach me and ASK. i do not bite.

over the years, i came to know myself much better as a person. i realise that i am your straight forward kinda guy that is not afraid to say anything and everything to your face regardless of what the consequences maybe. if i feel that its wrong, i would tell you. even if i do not say anything, i believe that my actions speaks volumes. after all, actions speaks louder than words.

being direct has landed me in hot soup for quite a number of occasions. but i jus dont care. i believe i thread on the fine line of being direct and being rude. but that is the way that i am. i do not believe in changing myself jus because a few individuals feel offended with the way that i am and the things that i say. i do not mince back my words jus because it offends, my point of view is my point of view. i have every right to express them. well, i believe in being myself and not being the guy that ppl expects me to be. and the same could be say about me being in a relationship.

anyways, i think it is rubbish expressing point of view online, but i still do it. ironic isnt it? after all this is my personal blog and i can rant anything that i wan here. if one can take it, one can always leave and dun read my blog ever again. i dun need patrons here. i would be happier if no one reads it.

2006-11-13T22:59:00.000+08:00

Operation DTEBBQCC29300106 is finally settled. the final proposal for food was done today at amk lib where i toil under the cold conditions to master my econs earlier and it was in the evening that my makkals came to visit and thus we settled it once and for all, which also happen to be inclusive of a visit to NTUC to doublecheck our earlier prices. well, it's from 29th Nov to 1st Dec and invitations to this chalet - Operation DTEBBQCC29300106 would be handed out to a selected few in the coming days. :)) a weight off my shoulders, though i knw that i am suppose to be studyin :P but hell, how long can planning take up man? hehe. maybe that is why AIR CLTS rocks, coz we are efficent in excecuting our tasks and would stick with it till the end. :D wahahaha.

ok... completed my lit paper 1 today. 3 down, 5 to go. soon it would be all over. well, today's lit paper set me thinking on certain issues as i attempted the question on Measure for Measure where we are told to examine the dramatic importance of reputation in Measure for Measure.

what exactly is reputation? Abraham Lincoln once quoted that "character is like a tree and reputation its shadow, the shadow is what we think it is, the tree is the real thing" dictionary.com offers me 4 different explainations to understanding it.

1. the estimation in which a person or thing is held, esp. by the community or the public generally; repute: a man of good reputation.

2. favorable repute; good name: to ruin one's reputation by misconduct.

3. a favorable and publicly recognized name or standing for merit, achievement, reliability

4. the estimation or name of being, having, having done something specific

the above explainations really explains quite a bit towards what reputation is exactly.

well, let us take a moment of silence and sit down and ponder and be honest to ourselves for once in our life and let's reflect on ourselves as a person and the role that reputation plays in our life.

how many of us really do not gun for reputation and recongnition so that we can be famous and we can be popular in everything or anything that we do? actually, all of us do at some point or another, myself included. and i must admit, building a reputation was what spurred me on to do some of the things that i do, be it good or bad, right or wrong. bathing in the glorification of one's achievement and the feeling of self importance is not a feeling that one would get every single day and it is a feeling that all of us would want to be able to feel at some point of our life. and being brought up in an asian community, it probably forms the core of our very being. an unfalling foundation in our lives. losing face is equalvalent to being better off than dead. once reputation is lost, it can never be regain.

however, this is not that point that i want to make.

i would compared a person with reputation or who really cares about it to an onion. an onion as we all knw has many layers. it is thick and cannot be penetrated easily. it takes lots of effort which would often leave us in tears. it has a weapon that protects it frm being penetrated. and i would draw parallel with reputation. some people tend to surrond ourselves with an aura of self importance, like how an onion surronds itself with layers. leading us to believe that they are the person that they are not. building up such a solid reputation that we stand in the awe of their presence. and i believe that in some place in our hearts we hope to be like them somehow. not only can reputation be used to describe this, other traits can be used to describe it too. say maybe confidence, cool guy attitude, jovialness, arrogance etc. these are only some of the many traits that we surrond ourselves with, wrapping ourselves up like a popiah. haha.

and when setbacks or opposition attack us, we tend to withdraw withn this make belief protection and defend ourselves against whatever that is attacking us for example, head on confrontation or quarrells. but what happens if this shell that we seek their protection in is peel off layer by layer. and before long, we are naked without the shell as a form of protection? it is only then that we are most vulnerable and most exposed. and i believe that it is only at this point that our true self really make an appearance and we would learn that we are not the person that we make ourselves to be. however, it is dependant on the invidual. some people are just not plain acting. they are who they are even without their shells.

i also believe that people adopt a different personality in front of others for several reasons. they are not the real them but rather they are the reel them. they become the person that they may not be. it is like acting on stage, being someone that one is obviously not. it could boil down to several reasons. it could be due to wanting to gain social acceptance, to hide the insecurity that plagued their very being, to disguise the flaw in their character. it is very vague and the reasons may differ from person to person and this is what i think that could possibly be the few reasons towards my point.

i guess i strayed too much away from my main point of reputation. haha. but who cares. GP is way over already. and now i can write as much out of point as i want. hehe. ok... lame here. lol.

reputation can make or break us. sometimes, i feel that it is necessary to sacrifice reputation in order to continuing keeping the several things that one hold dear. i believe the sacrifice is worth it. for even though people forgive and never forget, reputation can still be build up after it's lost. but however, frenz and loved ones once lost at the expense of one's reputation can never be regain even if forgiving does take place. things would never like how it was before. people change. circumstances change. evolution some calls it. and i have learn lessons from it. a lesson learned is a lesson learn. but this is also dependent on a case by case basis. in some instances, it was better to have lost them than to keep them.

the end justify the means. how you get there, does it really matter at all?

it is completely irrelavant to be bothered about the ways, but rather it is relevant to be bothered about the results that are achieve from it. sacrificing self, sacrifcing frenz, sacrificing everything izzit really important? after all, we are normally judged by our results towards of mission rather than the actions taken to accomplish them. morality may be lacking due to the ruthless attitude displayed. but i believe that for one to be successful, one must not only have friends but must also be ruthless towards the conduct of one's goal.

the hypocriptical attitude of society or friends or peers? the selfishness of self? i leave it up to your own discretion. however, this is what i believe, this is what i observed. i may be wrong, but hell, we are all entitle to our own views. you may agree or disagree. it is of no consequence to me. i dont really care. jus typing what i think and what i feel. that's about it :))

2006-11-10T23:56:00.000+08:00

jus came home from my godbro, jackson's wedding. lol. jessie, his bride look totally ravishing today man. guess gers always look their best on their wedding day :P not that they are not pretty to begin with but rather they look totally out of this world, as if an angel have decended upon us.

sat beside yvonne and chatted with her throughout the dinner. been quite some time since i last saw her and we did alot of catching up. ending off with the all familiar phrase, that we would catch up after my A's. which i am intending to do so before i enlist. haha. doin my A's sucks big time man. Gen and Kris jio me to go clubbin with them after dinner and i cant go coz i've to study for my papers next week, which happen to be everyday except thursday. so ya. once again i told them aft A's and yes, i am going to do so aft A's. ya. and on top of that, i still got a clubbin trip with Pat, date with michs ;P and my very own chalet, ya and not forgettin class chalet. looks like i am really going to enjoy myself before i enlist man. so ya. wat u waiting for? book me before i'm taken :P

lesson that i learn today. haha never offer to drink twice of wat the bridegroom drinks especially when he called for reinforcments to help him drink. you'll end up biting more than u can chew. lol. you wei and i challenge him to drink up the big glass of beer and we ended up drinking twice of what he drank. bleahs :(( kena conned.

had my euro hist paper today. overall, was not as hard as i thought it to be, but i still think that i am going to fail. anyways, what done is done and let's put this paper behind me and concentrate on the upcoming papers, which include Econs and Lit. all killers.

1 more week and i'll be through :)) Hoo Yah!!!

feline and michs went to ophir. have fun there. :)) miss ya? yes i do. lol.

2006-11-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Michs!!!

Tons of Hugs & Kisses for You :))

2006-11-07T00:45:00.000+08:00

Question to Ponder:

Is it better to have loved, then not to have loved at all?

life currently is interesting. with a lot of interesting happenings. i must admit i am really amazed at the extent of the actions of some of my friends

ignorance is bliss. that is my stand.

some things should really stopped. let's solve things the grown up way. forgiving and forgetting are probably the hardest things to do as compared to hating and ignoring. but with self determination & a big heart, it is possible. between friends, there should really be no bad blood. friends hurting friends through their actions would end up with either party being hurt much more and it would ultimately lead to embarrassment from both parties to admit their mistakes and patch up. and this friendship would simply die away.someone once told me, that it is not easy for a couple to get together. it requires fate, courage and determination to make it happen but in this case it would be friends. it is not easy for a pair to be friends. it takes the same ingredients for it to happen. and for it to die away, it's wasteful.

no matter how hot headed we are. friends are after all a foundation in our lives. something that not many of us can do without. even though claims may be made to be able to do so (like myself) actually i say only la. in the end, i still cant do without my friends. and i believed this is what some others may think. friends are people who filled up the empty spaces in our lives, without them, we are empty and lifeless. might as well be dead.

it is common to have our disagreements and our distastes of some of the actions of our friends. like how i used to hate weiliang, a good friend of mine, for his actions and i clashed with him occasionally over it. falling out most of the times over various decisions that we make as leaders. but in the end we still patch up. coz we knw that it was stupid and childish of either party to be resentful of the other and we recongnise the fact that the bonds of friendship should not be broken over issues like this.

"anger clouds judgement, and that is when the primitive side of the brain takes over" like what my former vice-principal, Mr Alcantara used to tell us when we are hurled to his office for fights, which i am guilty off once or twice. and it was only after tat i left school that the magnitude of his words struck me. maybe that explains my coolheadedness sometimes which jus simply drive my friends nuts, especially my fellow clts. haha. experience in such areas ensure that i maintain a coolhead regardless of how angry i am. :P

i'm not afraid to claim that my experiences are plenty as compared to my peers and i think i am much more matured than them in some ways. i've learned many lessons as a leader, both the hard way and the soft way. and there is always 1 common advice: let's jus weigh both sides of the argument before making any decision. as a wrong move would result in "Checkmate"

stress too plays a part in having clouded judgement. this normally gives way to anger and resentment, which would of course be the end cause. we would not think clearly and in the end, jus gettin angry over little stuffs. haha. sounds familiar? coz we are all guilty of it once in a while. if there was ever such a situation, let peace be my gift to you, through prayers and as a friend.

i am not implyin anything. i am jus stating my thoughts, which i am entitled too. dont read too much into it. :))

no man is an island. no one is alone. God is always there with us, and if He is not there, Friends would make up for the missing space.

2006-11-06T00:01:00.000+08:00

Question to Ponder:

What is Reel & What is Real

jus completed my gp paper with history coming up this friday. followed by an intense week of paper nearly everyday for the following week. pray that i would last through it unscathed.

life is pretty much the same for me. went out with louisa, justin and benedict with feline joining us that day. after that it was with alvin, merv and wl. of coz not forgetting that study hours happen to be slot in between them.

honestly, i dun really feel stressed coz i knw that for every paper i would jus give my best and i hope that is enuf to see me through. so full steam ahead for the papers that are coming my way.

Never, never, never give up.........

2006-10-31T15:18:00.000+08:00

48 Hours To The Start of "A" Level Examination: General Paper

32 Days to The Start of Freedom & Salvation

2006-10-31T01:59:00.000+08:00

Question to Ponder:

Does Mirror Images Really Exists?

do you get this feeling sometimes that some ppl are simply similiar? both in characteristic and outlook, even though they may not be related at all and they barely know each other? it is as if they are cut out from the same piece of paper. does such coincidences exist? or is it our brain leading us to believe in what we wanna believe in?

such occurances do happen once in a while i believe. but i may be wrong. reason i am talkin about this, is that i feel that i have been blind for a very long time by mirror images. blinded by reasons only known to me and me alone and it took me so long to realise it. well, i've been a fool in most of my actions due to this reason. i need no sympathy but only curses for me. i derserve it as much.

speaking greek here, i know i am. i don't need anyone to understand me. no one does anyways.

If you don't like it. just dont read on.

looking back at my history of friends, i must say that i have indeed left a huge wake behind me. i make friends easily but i dont maintain them. a flaw of mine? it may be. there is always this group of friends that happen to be my "in" friends at the moment. and when that feeling dies out after a while, i just move on to another group, leaving this previous group behind. it has happen alot of times and i am more or less use to it already. it is really commonplace for me. maybe that is why i am not so quick to condemn the actions of some of my friends coz i understand perfectly the situation. it is a trend that occur so frequently, that i dont really bother to fight against it. rather i just go with the flow and await the arrival of the next "in" group.

but 1 group of friends do remain constant in my life and that are my flight mates. bourned of the same unit, trained by the same unit. these are my brothers, these are my friends. the bond that we forged over these past 7 or 8 years is not one that can be broken easily. the spirit of brotherhood is steadfast withn us and we have weather all sorts of trials and tribulations that are thrown our way together which make the bond even tighter. that it is now unbreakable. though we have our tiffs at times, all these are always resolved over time. there is this connection between us, that sets them apart from being normal friends.

sometimes, i really feel that i dont belong to this current group of friends. actually to be honest, i think i never do. i personally feel that the connection is missing. the bond is lacking. like they say, appearance can be deceiving, i think we have deceive many people. i would probably call this- The Greatest Con Job Ever Pulled. we fooled everyone, even ourselves. but how long more can this deception go on? not long more i guess. and to put it bluntly, i am neither here nor there. i am nowhere. i don't belong to any clique. i dont belong to any group. i may looked like, but trust me, i'm not. to be honest, i prefer to be left on my own. but i did try to make the best out of things and i think that in the end i am jus making a mess out of it.

sometimes, i am just astrounded by the logic of some people. the hyprocrypcy that is being displayed. acting nice in front of the person and badmouthing him behind his back. wierd isnt it? well, i may be guilty of it at times too but at least in the end i make it clear to the person through my actions and words or i do tell you straight to the face that i hate your guts and they get the gist immediately, unless of coz they are really numbskulled la. some people too possessed wierd characters that simply leave me mystified. one moment nice, the next moment can be pure ice. it is like as if they are suffering from split personality disorder. there are many other different types of people. and some of them are jus mirror images of the original. so what i do to all these different types of people? well, i be civil. it seems like the best solution out of no solution or i just ignore them. both are not that hard for me. *shrugs.

i am just happy to take a backseat and watch the entire show unfold. after all, what i dont know cant hurt me and what i do know, i jus pretend that i dont.

the character that some of my friends displays really amuses me. it is like they are tryin hard to be someone that they are not, or they want people to think that they are these type of people which obviously they are not. some even think that they are the person that they make themselves out to be.

it's quite amusing to watch.

i guess they just wan to gain social acceptance or they are jus very shallow people who seeked through hide their flaws through their actions. deep down, they are just emotionally insecure. these group of people could mean anyone and everyone of my friends. it need not necessary be targetted at a certain individual or a certain group. not sure can ask me. :))

dont you find it hard to be the person that you want to be perceive as? to be someone that you are not?

from my point of view, popularity, prestige, wealth are just passing fads. they dont last forever. what for lust after them? they would be gone as quickly as they came. well, not to be bhb, but if i was half the guy i was back then, these people wldnt even hold a candle against me. that is how confident i am of my own abilities. jus that i've mellowed or changed or reform it you wanna call it. or i've just grown sick of it as i've seen and experience the evils that they bring.

this is no direct attack on certain individuals but rather the observation on my part. each of us are entitled to our own views and thus i am entitled to mine. and i am airing my views here, though i must admit it's kinda toned down due to my laziness to type.

it is better to be a nobody than a somebody. it is better to have a few good friends than many normal friends.

2006-10-27T02:50:00.000+08:00

Question to Ponder:

if you could turn back time, would you right the wrongs or lived another new life?

___________________________________________________________________

I HATE You

I LOATHE You

I DETEST You

haha too many words to express what i feel about you. but ya. i really do feel this way towards you from the bottom of my loving heart. and the feeling is mutual. no price for guessing who. :)) there are only a few on my HATElist.

well, jus felt like saying it. jus felt like typin it. sue me if i offend you. coz "you" can be anyone in this whole wide world. and the world does not evolve around you.

it's the time of the night where you sit down and brood about stuffs and learn to regret past mistakes and having wishful thinking how nice if things were different.

i do cherish you, from the bottom of my heart. i still do and i would always do.

2006-10-27T02:42:00.000+08:00

hmmm. less than a week to A's. much preparation done? i dont really think so. so little time and so much to go through. especially with regards to economics. doesnt really matter who is helping me now. be it meryl, feline, mag or rene. it doesnt really matter. the plain fact that it is too late to expect any sort of miracles with regard to econs. blame it on myself who think econs sucks and refusing to study it at all totally. no one to blame but myself. but i dont think that i should give up at this point of time. it is simply not me. it's simply too late.

i have no idea wat am i doing online so late. when i am suppose to be sleeping and gettin prepared for another day of challenging revision again. well, nowadays, i rarely have any idea as to what i am doing. too confuse? perhaps. too many things on my mind, things that i cant really let go. things which i wish after my A's there is a conclusion and an ending.

2006-10-26T23:08:00.000+08:00

Understanding Womanspeak

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have been given more than five minutes more to watch the game before helping out at the house or when you are meeting her.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something is up" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end up with "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statement that a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman thanks you. Don't question it or faint. Just say " You're Welcome"

2006-10-25T02:23:00.000+08:00

stupid haze left me with a running nose everyday without fail. my nose already so sensitive and the haze is not helping but rather it's making it worst. and on top of that, keep gettin headaches as a result. been popping panadols and cold tablets daily without fail. grrrrr......... currently nose is like a water tap.

hope it would rain more often so that the haze level would drop or a change in wind direction blowing the haze elsewhere would be nice :))

about a week more to A's. pray that my fellow combatants and i would have the stamina and the perservance to last till then :))

2006-10-24T15:06:00.000+08:00

Happy Belated Birthday Merv!!!

went out for a belated birthday celebration with him, alvin & wei liang yesterday. went to Seoul Gardens at Marina Square for celebration. what that follows after that is not worth mentioning :))

well, merv has been my makkal since we were sec 1. it's a frenship 8 years in the making and we went through lots together, since we were in the same CCA and such, the same could be said for both alvin & wei liang. we were platoon mates, we were classmates. haha. during our sec sch days, we were part of the Tamil Gang that dominated both our level and our CCA, NCC (Air). those were the days man.

dun ask why i am hanging out with indians or why am i the only chinese there. coz it is a stupid thing to ask if you really know me well. but come to think of it, not many ppl do really know me well, cept for those that i consider as my inner circle of friends which is rather few i muz say. 2 hands can count alr. :)) yup. so you can put it as i don't trust much ppl or even if i do, i don't really trust fully. but those in my inner circle are the ones that i trust with my life. blame it on all the backstabbing & political plays. makes me rather suspicious of everyone and anyone. :)) or you can blame it on my age too, too old but not yet that experience. wahahaha. ok. starting to sprout nonsense alr.

hmmm. have not been updating that frequently. been out studyin everyday with rene or dom or some other ppl. i really don't like study in groups of more than 3 ppl. so ya. ish either a pair or alone. so don't keep asking me why or keep asking me out to study when it is obvious that i wouldnt go.

going out now. continue later.

2006-10-10T00:08:00.000+08:00

3 days to the End of School

21 days to the start of A Levels

42 days to Salvation

??? days to Enlistment

2006-10-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

less than a month to A Levels. dun think i am prepared. dun think i ever would be. but let's make good use of the little time that i have left to do something about it. quitting is not my cup of tea and there are sooo many ppl that i want to prove wrong. how nice if i jus had 1 more year. but then, that is what i have been telling myself all these while. deceivin myself and refusing to face the fact that A's are indeed here? i am jus wrapped in my little world, surronded by the things that i choose to call reality. see only the right things, hear only the good things, do only the correct things. would i ever stand up to face the truth?

who would be there to stand with me when i go into battle to fight that horrible nightmare called A Levels? no one but myself. no one can help me. no one can understand the amount of pressure that comes with it, even though each of us may be faced with the same, but it varies from person to person. we all have our goals in life and now we are at a turning point of our life, where there are a few routes before us and we have to make a choice. how many of us would really choose the route that we want to walk? how many of us would actually walked the right route? though all the routes may be right in their own way.

it is a do or die now. our future depends so much on jus 1 exam. it's quite scary if you come to think about it. we are staking our entire future in just 1 exam and the rest that we had in schools are jus a prelude to the real main event. and to be honest, it totally freaks me out, but i don't have anyone solid to lean on?

what are friends for? they are there for you to lean on in times of need and in times of trouble. that is what they say in theory, but in practice, how many of them would actually be there for you? they have their own problems too and adding our problems to them isnt really being very helpful i guess? maybe this is the time where one would see who are those that you can call "true friends" especially when social darwinism starts kicking in, and everyone is desperate for survival. rather ironic.

talking about friends. do we categorise our friends? or do they all come under 1 big catergory. everyone does to a certain extent i guess, even myself. is it the right thing to do one may question? but what is right and what is wrong? as there are so many opinions and all of them may be right in their own way.

so many things running through my mind over the past few days. thought things through. and i guess, i have a rough sense of where i wanna go in the future. university education is definitely not my cup of tea. i have my dreams which i wanna persue but would i sacrifice my dreams for a more practical stand? to be honest, i really do not know how to walk the next part of my life. i really do need guidance. but i always get the same 2 response "follow your heart, goes where it tells you to go" or "go to uni, it's better. aft all singapore is a paper society. without a degree you will die"

so many mistakes i had made in throughout my 19 years. but how many mistakes have i rectify? none i must say. i just let it happened and after that i try to shrug it off as nothing and jus move on, treating it like a lesson in life. could i ever lived with these mistakes? for some events that have occured, i play the blaming game and blamed everyone but myself. maybe i just could not accept reality? or maybe i was jus too caught up with myself to really bother about the feelings of others. some of the things that i may say may have hurt you badly but i jus did not notice. maybe that is why i am quite sensitive at times. i jus do not want to lose people whom i hold dear.

sometimes i wonder was it really worth it? giving so much and gettin so little in return? well, nothing more can be said too. the irony of life. no one would ever understand me. there are jus so many things bugging me now and i realise that i simply cant let go.

2006-10-04T21:54:00.000+08:00

Currently Reading: Roald Dhal's Omnibus: Perfect Bedtime Stories For Sleepless Nights

perfect book to ensure sleepless nights. all the stories are rather dark in nature and all have surprise ending. some stories are a little sadistic, a total different perspective from his book written for children. not suited for kids to read.

doing up a "bible" for my A Lvl Subjects. haha and after A's may consider doing up a guide to tuanging school :P hmmm. there's alot of things to do after A's and i hope that i have the time for it.

well, another 5 weeks to the start of A's. and it's school sweet school tomorrow for me :D

2006-10-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

The Most "In" Thing To Ask A Fellow Classmate Nowadays:

Are You Going To School Tomorrow?

yes, that is wat everyone is asking one another nowadays (applicable to students of MI). a drastic change from the norm which include examples like, "want to go for movie tomorrow?" or "are you going to do XXX's homework?" or "what's your PES status?"

so what's next? When are you going to enlist? o.O?? haha.

2006-09-28T20:18:00.000+08:00

Goin to school nowadays is such a drag. regardless of what some teachers may say about time being much well spend coming to school rather than stayin at home, i beg to differ. i feel that either ways are indeed good for students, such as myself as we gear up for the upcoming A Level Exams in a few weeks time.

Firstly, not going to school means we can wake up late which means that we would have more energy to study. Secondly, not going to school means that we do not have to be stress out by certain teachers who are not helpin but adding more stress to our already stressful life. Thirdly, not going to school means that your study time is now more flexible and you would not be dictated by something call a "timetable" which i would elaborate on later. well, these are too me sufficent enough reason why i am seldom seen in school and when i do appear it is on special guest appearance.

i personally feel that all these going to school stuffs are all rubbish. so what if you go to school everyday but at the end of the day, you learn nothing? then what is the point of going to school? you dragged your tired body to school, not being able to focus, not being to learn anything as compared to yourself resting at home and when you wake up, you feel more refreshed to challenge the subjects that are in front of you. there is a big diversity between these 2. well, i do feel this way. i can study better alone without any distractions. thankew very much.

also. don't know what policies the school is coming up with. "Consultation" period. Sounds nice eh? from the common and agreed intepretation of "consultation" it means that it is suppose to be period whereby you sit down and discuss with the teachers whatever doubts that you have to clear. but in fact, these "consultation" sessions have become extra supplementary lessons for students like us. i mean, if the school want to give extra lessons, jus need to put there extra lessons right? what's up with extra lessons being covered under the guise of "consultation" period? think it's pure crap man. no wonder we end school at 1330 everyday. looks so nice on paper only. if we add in the extra lessons, we would still end at the same time. looks like the school is desperate to keep us, year 3 in schools man. the teachers must really miss us so much and cant bear us to leave, thus explaining the "consultation" periods. (anyways this is a student's point of view)

well, right now at this period, there is no one to depend on except for myself. no one can help me except for myself. if i dun, no one would. gotten that little catalyst that i was lookin for to get me started and it was a deliberate attempt for me to get it.

STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! how nice if it would be over soon?

2006-09-23T21:41:00.000+08:00

what did i do today? well, went out to study with feline and ya, i was there much earlier than expected. she expected to me be there by noon and i was there about 2 hours earlier? tried to do some econs and ya, did manage to get started with the beggining topics.

going to start my mugging beginning monday already. no more dota (maybe once in a while), no more movies and late night out. everyday would be spend studyin as we gear up for the last lap of A's.

spending the weekend home alone since family are away for church retreat. :))

2006-09-20T21:28:00.000+08:00

finally bought my shirt, well, hope the overall dressing dun seem really that wierd. thanks to meow for helping me choose the shirt and being my porter? :P haha. yes. i am mean, otherwise wld i have been her meanie? lol.

nothing much done today jus that seem to be plague with headache and a cold. snifs. sniffs.

well, i think friday we would not have any plans already. nothing concrete, all we have is do this and do that, say this say that. nothing solid. so i guess i jus head off home to sleep. aft all, i am spending the weekend with meow or rather saturday la. STUDYING! yes. that is what i am going to do. so dun be surprise. goin to start muggin finally coz A's is like a month away.

well to feline: You Can Do It!!!

2006-09-19T00:59:00.000+08:00

COOL...... prelims are officially over and i can safely assure you that i am officially screwed too. did not go for my econs papers totally at all. not a single paper. why? coz no point, i would still fail and time would be better spend doin other things. i do not expect to pass. maybe for hist and lit but definitely not for GP coz i did a sucidal question. lol.

Tea Appreciation this friday. MI's version of "Prom". went shirt hunting today and i cant seem to find a matching shirt for what i am going to wear. nvm. shall let my dear pick for me later in the day when i meet her up. and also since she wanna be my fashion consultant as i cant decide on what to wear? din knw that it is soooo hard jus to find a shirt for my clothes man. well, at least we picked Shi Hong's clothes today :)) when we went window shopping. haha he's gg to look simply awesome on friday man!!!! plans on friday seems to centre around dinner at Pizza Hut and Gaming after midnight as we prepare to thaw the nite out. haha our shi hong wanna go MOS. shld we? so in between we have a lot of free time and it was suggested that we shld sit down and talk kok over coffee instead of beer for a change. and ya! we are going to take a lot of photos. LOL

what was i doin for the past few days? haha. meetin elly and gang everyday. and getting tease everyday -_-'' what did we do? we went DOTAin. LOL. and elly and i have that DOTA mission of killing and owning our dear mark who jus like to blink or run away. more gay than me lor -_-'' been dotaing furiously for the past few days which is like sapping my energy and my $$$. well, at least it's money well spent. a worthy investment. haha. later in the day, going to go dotaing with elly and mark again. we need the practice man. and when it comes to wanting to kill mark how many ppl can shake off that urge? :))

2006-09-15T14:46:00.000+08:00

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 64%

You have a good chance of being a multimillionaire. Better than most people.You simply have a natural knack for money and the personality for success.

2006-09-15T14:40:00.000+08:00

How Sarcastic Are You?

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.