ok. i decide not to go to school today and rather attend camp feast. haha. brave of me? or foolish? i let you decide. i will not be in school for 2 days and i do not know what will happen in school in my absence.
the people around me seem to be getting a little unstable (no offence intended) everyone seem to be frustrated and worked over some stuffs or other. but the main reason that i deduce about the change in attitude is School.
school, unlike in the past is no longer fun and entertaining, rather it is becoming more and more stressful, both from education point of view and social point of view. i find it rather sad to see my friends turning stressed. i believe that as the A Levels draw nearer, more of my friends would succumb to this "illness". i saw alot of outbursts in class recently and i do not wish to see it again. what causes it? only they themselves know, we can only speculate on our part.
school, in my opinion is becoming more and more taxing. i am not talkin only about homeworks but also in relationships. cracks have already appear in some of the friendships and some other friendships are no longer fixable. i hope that this is a short term effect for the former. as for the latter, what we call the "Great Divide" had already began, pitting the East against the West. such things cannot be mended as we must accept that we are 2 groups of people with 2 different mindsets. i would draw comparison with the Cold War where American Democracy is pitted against Soviet Communism. we cannot co-exist but we must try to live with each other just like how both those super powers tried. it is either them or us. so we must try to seek a balance in between. as much as we want to get back together, it is highly impossible. it is like putting fire with water or wood with fire. it will only cause more harm than good.
i feel that some of my classmates should be more acceptable of whatever comments that we have to give, be it good or bad. just like how we are acceptable of your comments. it may sound bad but at least one know where one went wrong. critical comments, to me is a form of learning. if you only want to hear the good things, you will never know where is wrong with you. and you will just remain at this particular spot while all the others have advanced. you will never succeed in life if you cannot take critisim. friends care, that is why they tell you what is wrong. coz we make you worth our effort. but it is just reciprocrated and treated as insults. this is rather saddening to see.
i can't understand the fact why people are still refusing to accept the facts even though they are served on a platter to them, choosing instead to live in a world of their own and surronding themselves with make-believe truth. choosing to believe what they wanna believe. not that i wanna say but i feel that this person should move on with life. illusional is what i will call them. but i believe that once this illusion is shattered, things will never be the same again.
i do not understand why this particular person like to lead him on? i mean, if you do not like him, jus tell him, what is so hard about that? why must one give him false hopes? make him feel as if he is on sky high then later send him crashing down to earth. in my personal opinion, i think it is wrong. it will only make matters worst. she is playing with his feelings and he knows it but choose not to accept the facts. "what friends are for" simply do not apply here. we have now taken 2nd place or maybe even lower in his heart.
you are just being use as a spare tire. why you wanna put yourself through this agony and lament about how this is bad, how that is worst? you are jus willowing in self pity. the world do not pity you, she will just move on without you. this particular girl is playing with you and too in love to see it. lamenting about how hard it is to get a girlfriend, about how girls like skinny guys is not going to help you get a girlfriend. "Empty vessels make the most noise", "all words and no action" you can say and say as much as you want, but a girlfriend will not drop at your doorstep.
my advice: suffer that heartbreak, it will occur soon withn this year, and you will see what is right and what is wrong. getting first hand experience is probably what you need. and so i hope you really get it. go out and look for a girlfriend if you really want one so desperately.
over ages, it is always been a stereotypical view that girls' heart are the most fragile while mens' are the most hardened. but i tell you that is not true. even the hardest hearted of men will cracked someday. and when it happens nothing can mend it. he, here is not hard hearted but rather quite fragile. i do not want to see him suffering a heartache as i believe he would not recover from it. it took me 3 years to get over a heartbreak, much less him who have never experience love before.
love stinks i tell you, it can make you feel like a God or it can make you feel like a total bastard. maybe that explains my nature. i do not think that after all that has happen to me, i still believe that true love exists. to me, but it only exists in that imaginary world that we choose to live in. surronded by our own illusions. WAKE UP!!! i tell you. i have long woken up from this dream.
some may differ that i am starting another war by blogging about this issue. but i just do not care. i need a place to vent out how i feel, this is my personal blog. so i can say and do as i please here. if you are not happy, too bad.
i admit that i may be critical about certain issues, but that is jus being me. i do not seek to reconcile but i seek to find a solution out of these "mess" we may not even remain as friends but i hope that we can still remain as classmates. to maintain a working relationship if possible. let's be professional here. to that guy that is concern, i hope you do wake up. you can hate me for being frank here but too bad. it is reality.
on a lighter note, we went to joy tan's house today and her sons are CUTE man!!! it was quite a fun experience.
24 hours to Valentine's Day.
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