i think i am like having insomia for the past few days man. alot of things on my mind. jus that i cant really seem to find an answer and a solution for these thingys.it's kind of frustrating. well, i think there isnt really anyone to point finger at. as much as i would love to do so. and ya, i do know that it has been affecting my performance overall everywhere from work to my social skills. jus feel like snapping at everyone and anyone, it really takes alot of self control not to do so.

well. i somehow manage to narrow down the actual cause of it. i think i am hoping too much for something that i knew would never happen in a million years. something that i feel is unthinkable and unachievable. i actually thought that i was over and done with it lastime. but it just seem that it was jus the beginning. of coz, i would really love for things to turn out the way that i actually dream it to be. but as we all know, reality is never kind on us. so things would never ever go the way that i would wish it too. there are 2 ways, 1 - work towards it. 2- jus ignore. i think i am just going to do the latter. i jus dont want to jeopardise our friendship. probably, i am jus not fated to have a happily ever after ending.

after what that i saw that day, i think it is best that i jus go to 1 corner and not jus be involved. some things if they are meant to be are meant to be. i just dont want to feel worst after tat. well, i could be losing out on a good girl. but it is jus me. it is a sucky feeling to have. but i jus have to suck it up and jus move on with my own life. it was always me against the world. always will be and would be always this way.

i just want to be alone.