do you get this feeling sometimes that some ppl are simply similiar? both in characteristic and outlook, even though they may not be related at all and they barely know each other? it is as if they are cut out from the same piece of paper. does such coincidences exist? or is it our brain leading us to believe in what we wanna believe in?
such occurances do happen once in a while i believe. but i may be wrong. reason i am talkin about this, is that i feel that i have been blind for a very long time by mirror images. blinded by reasons only known to me and me alone and it took me so long to realise it. well, i've been a fool in most of my actions due to this reason. i need no sympathy but only curses for me. i derserve it as much.
speaking greek here, i know i am. i don't need anyone to understand me. no one does anyways.
If you don't like it. just dont read on.
looking back at my history of friends, i must say that i have indeed left a huge wake behind me. i make friends easily but i dont maintain them. a flaw of mine? it may be. there is always this group of friends that happen to be my "in" friends at the moment. and when that feeling dies out after a while, i just move on to another group, leaving this previous group behind. it has happen alot of times and i am more or less use to it already. it is really commonplace for me. maybe that is why i am not so quick to condemn the actions of some of my friends coz i understand perfectly the situation. it is a trend that occur so frequently, that i dont really bother to fight against it. rather i just go with the flow and await the arrival of the next "in" group.
but 1 group of friends do remain constant in my life and that are my flight mates. bourned of the same unit, trained by the same unit. these are my brothers, these are my friends. the bond that we forged over these past 7 or 8 years is not one that can be broken easily. the spirit of brotherhood is steadfast withn us and we have weather all sorts of trials and tribulations that are thrown our way together which make the bond even tighter. that it is now unbreakable. though we have our tiffs at times, all these are always resolved over time. there is this connection between us, that sets them apart from being normal friends.
sometimes, i really feel that i dont belong to this current group of friends. actually to be honest, i think i never do. i personally feel that the connection is missing. the bond is lacking. like they say, appearance can be deceiving, i think we have deceive many people. i would probably call this- The Greatest Con Job Ever Pulled. we fooled everyone, even ourselves. but how long more can this deception go on? not long more i guess. and to put it bluntly, i am neither here nor there. i am nowhere. i don't belong to any clique. i dont belong to any group. i may looked like, but trust me, i'm not. to be honest, i prefer to be left on my own. but i did try to make the best out of things and i think that in the end i am jus making a mess out of it.
sometimes, i am just astrounded by the logic of some people. the hyprocrypcy that is being displayed. acting nice in front of the person and badmouthing him behind his back. wierd isnt it? well, i may be guilty of it at times too but at least in the end i make it clear to the person through my actions and words or i do tell you straight to the face that i hate your guts and they get the gist immediately, unless of coz they are really numbskulled la. some people too possessed wierd characters that simply leave me mystified. one moment nice, the next moment can be pure ice. it is like as if they are suffering from split personality disorder. there are many other different types of people. and some of them are jus mirror images of the original. so what i do to all these different types of people? well, i be civil. it seems like the best solution out of no solution or i just ignore them. both are not that hard for me. *shrugs.
i am just happy to take a backseat and watch the entire show unfold. after all, what i dont know cant hurt me and what i do know, i jus pretend that i dont.
the character that some of my friends displays really amuses me. it is like they are tryin hard to be someone that they are not, or they want people to think that they are these type of people which obviously they are not. some even think that they are the person that they make themselves out to be.
it's quite amusing to watch.
i guess they just wan to gain social acceptance or they are jus very shallow people who seeked through hide their flaws through their actions. deep down, they are just emotionally insecure. these group of people could mean anyone and everyone of my friends. it need not necessary be targetted at a certain individual or a certain group. not sure can ask me. :))
dont you find it hard to be the person that you want to be perceive as? to be someone that you are not?
from my point of view, popularity, prestige, wealth are just passing fads. they dont last forever. what for lust after them? they would be gone as quickly as they came. well, not to be bhb, but if i was half the guy i was back then, these people wldnt even hold a candle against me. that is how confident i am of my own abilities. jus that i've mellowed or changed or reform it you wanna call it. or i've just grown sick of it as i've seen and experience the evils that they bring.
this is no direct attack on certain individuals but rather the observation on my part. each of us are entitled to our own views and thus i am entitled to mine. and i am airing my views here, though i must admit it's kinda toned down due to my laziness to type.
it is better to be a nobody than a somebody. it is better to have a few good friends than many normal friends.
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