arrrrhghhhhhh

we had that real boring and meaningless history seminar at toh tuck today. we arrived late due to the bus and got "scolded" by that fat indian female bitch who call herself a teacher for coming late. normally i can keep my cool, but i jus answered her back and she gave me a cold stare. i really do not know what is wrong with me. unpleasant things jus seem to keep coming my way as much as i try to avoid them.

what was meant to be a wonderful day today turn sour in the end. a sumptous meal elly, inez, teranz and myself had at Sakae Sushi (elly's fave hangout) . followed by a mini shopping trip, courtesy of Inez and shopping for a suitable 21st birthday pressie for my partner in crime, Sara.

saw something i wish i have not seen, bringing back memories that i long tried to forget, digging up emotions that i thought was long gone, adding on to the additional stress that i am getting from school and the teachers. it took me down the long depressing route that i do not want to take again. rendering me in a rather foul and depress mood. yes, i seek solace in toys. and i really am past caring what others think alr. think what u want, it is of no consequence to me.

i cant live up to the expecatations that teachers have for me. consistent work is not what i practise. i dont like to be pressure to studying. if you believe i have the potential let me show it in my own way and not by pressuring me to show it. i can never perform in the beginning, i believe it to be taboo. when i say i will score at the end, have faith in me for i will do it. if you want to think of me as straight F student so be it, you know that i will not get it, results have already proven. i am sick of listening to all these bullshit. dont add on to the problems that already are in existant. you are just making my life worst.