toyyys

i really do not know what came over me. playin with toys at my age? or seeking solace in toys? starting off with bubbles, proceeded with tumbling blocks (sth like UNO Stacko) & my beloved Rubby Ducky. toy soldiers are on my agenda this upcoming week.

oh, in case u did not know, i went to Toy'R'Us to buy more toys ytd. will be returning to purchase more.

a lot of things happened to me over this past month. some of which affected me greatly. as far as i try to remain optimistic, it is darn hard. things could never be the same? THAT chapter in my life is close coz i chose it to be, as far as i am concern. starting on a new chapter but i do not know which direction to head in. don't blame me for giving up? but for starting instead?

i just wanna live a life that is my own. not dictated by circumstances nor events. i do what i like to do, no one stopping me and sayin "this cant be done, because it is wrong" the teachers are stoppin attempts to be creative. telling us to do this, do that, claiming that it is the right thing. where is freedom of thought? it is just like living a life of a puppet. i just want to be free from it. by piling essays and threatening us in it is not goin to help us. it is just going to tramatise us and along the way stress us out. cant they employ a more positive teaching approach. i don't find doing essays and comprehension amusing. ranting and ranting on in class is not gg to help us in understanding the topic, it will only make us more afraid of it. jus like how i am of Econs.

school is really boring and fuck up. MI isnt like JCs. lessons are 15mins longer. schools are a few hours longer. the principal preaches a "study till you drop" approach. the teachers enforce it. and they console us by calling us "cream of the crops" what logic is that? it is freaking warp. the only time i look forward in school is the free periods. other than that nothing else.

social life also affected. school end so late. the only people that i see and hang out with are my classmates. no life? i barely can even find time for my other frenz. why cant we jus be normal for once?

ok. i do not know what the f*** i am talkin about alr. but ya. it's time to stop thinking. it's time to do sth. i made that step to walk that route and i intend to see it through. not giving up. not having 2nd thoughts. big sis knw what i am talkin abt rite? :)