back from Hanoi for around 2 days. you can say that i sorta miss the place. not because of the people that went there but rather because of the lifestyle that the people lead. a simple and yet not complex lifestyle with no heavy reliances on technologies. it is something that you cannot find here in singapore. my post on my history trip would come later, as it is quite a long one.

i would say that this hanoi trip really benefitted me as i got to know not only myself better but also my classmates too. my initial impression of people really went further downhill after this trip as i got to see what i would deem as the ugly sides of many of my classmates. however, some impressions remain unchanged. well, but it doesnt take an idiot to guess which classmates of mine whom very existence that i simply detest now. cant help it, jus being me. if i hate u, i really do. nth you do can change it.

if you think that you understand me, you don't. i think that i am jus like an onion, many layers and when you think that you peel off one, there is another lurking beneath. i can be fun loving or i can be a real bastard but i am still being me. how others view me doesnt really concern me, i am jus happy being myself, in the ways that i feel would be best. i have never seek to be understood by anyone as i do not feel the need to do so. my actions speak for themselves.

to my frenz, i believe i appear as a fun loving dude with no care for my surrondings who borders on the fine line between stupidity. haha. which is quite amusing most of the time i must say as it gets me the things that i want which is quite useful. so jus take me as that and dun try to understand me better. i am quite a complicated character. everything that i do, i do it for a reason. manipulative? perhaps. scheming? perhaps. i really dont care what others think abt me. it's better not to knw. what you do not knw cant hurt you. and i am reemphasising it.

sometimes, i think that being too loyal to frenz is no good at all. it doesnt pay to be that loyal. my actions jus get misinterpreted and i get misunderstood. good intentions turn to bad ones. it happens all the time. minghui was an example. sometimes i think i care too much that why when my actions catches up with me it hurts so badly. is it really worth it to suffer for friends? does it really pay to be loyal? i shld really question myself after all that had happened. i do know that sometimes i like to impose my thinkin on others, but i really cant help it when i see my friends walkin down a disastrous route. it's jus not me. i am not the type that leave my frenz in the lurch. i would rather hurt myself than my frenz. but after all that had happened to me. i guess my thinkin may perhaps be warped. perhaps it's time to reevaluate.

seriously, i cant really be bothered with all the things that has happened alr. if it's meant to be, it will be. i jus leave it to fate. i believe tat fate is not blind and justice would prevail on the side of the victims.

i cant be with the same group of frenz everyday. besides you, i have other frenz too. i have to balance between both. you dont expect me to be with you everyday, every hour rite? you are not my only frenz. i feel that i am neither here nor there. i could be everywhere with anyone. not necessary with the same group of people. i learn frm my mistakes of last year and i do not seek to make the same one again.

well, a long time ago, i did open up myself to someone, but in the end i ended up gettin hurt, i got this person to understand me which i think she did but in the end all my efforts came to naught as i learnt that she was just like the stereotypical impression that i have for every other girl. she was no different. all girls are the same. it was because of them that the original sin came about when eve was tempted by the snake who in turn later went to tempt adam.

after all that has happened i would still stand by my stand that gers are nothing but trouble. and they are serious trouble and it is a bias point of view which i do not care to change irregardless of what others may have to say.

i just plain hate most girls because of YOU........