Operation DTEBBQCC29300106 is finally settled. the final proposal for food was done today at amk lib where i toil under the cold conditions to master my econs earlier and it was in the evening that my makkals came to visit and thus we settled it once and for all, which also happen to be inclusive of a visit to NTUC to doublecheck our earlier prices. well, it's from 29th Nov to 1st Dec and invitations to this chalet - Operation DTEBBQCC29300106 would be handed out to a selected few in the coming days. :)) a weight off my shoulders, though i knw that i am suppose to be studyin :P but hell, how long can planning take up man? hehe. maybe that is why AIR CLTS rocks, coz we are efficent in excecuting our tasks and would stick with it till the end. :D wahahaha.

ok... completed my lit paper 1 today. 3 down, 5 to go. soon it would be all over. well, today's lit paper set me thinking on certain issues as i attempted the question on Measure for Measure where we are told to examine the dramatic importance of reputation in Measure for Measure.

what exactly is reputation? Abraham Lincoln once quoted that "character is like a tree and reputation its shadow, the shadow is what we think it is, the tree is the real thing" dictionary.com offers me 4 different explainations to understanding it.

1. the estimation in which a person or thing is held, esp. by the community or the public generally; repute: a man of good reputation.

2. favorable repute; good name: to ruin one's reputation by misconduct.

3. a favorable and publicly recognized name or standing for merit, achievement, reliability

4. the estimation or name of being, having, having done something specific

the above explainations really explains quite a bit towards what reputation is exactly.

well, let us take a moment of silence and sit down and ponder and be honest to ourselves for once in our life and let's reflect on ourselves as a person and the role that reputation plays in our life.

how many of us really do not gun for reputation and recongnition so that we can be famous and we can be popular in everything or anything that we do? actually, all of us do at some point or another, myself included. and i must admit, building a reputation was what spurred me on to do some of the things that i do, be it good or bad, right or wrong. bathing in the glorification of one's achievement and the feeling of self importance is not a feeling that one would get every single day and it is a feeling that all of us would want to be able to feel at some point of our life. and being brought up in an asian community, it probably forms the core of our very being. an unfalling foundation in our lives. losing face is equalvalent to being better off than dead. once reputation is lost, it can never be regain.

however, this is not that point that i want to make.

i would compared a person with reputation or who really cares about it to an onion. an onion as we all knw has many layers. it is thick and cannot be penetrated easily. it takes lots of effort which would often leave us in tears. it has a weapon that protects it frm being penetrated. and i would draw parallel with reputation. some people tend to surrond ourselves with an aura of self importance, like how an onion surronds itself with layers. leading us to believe that they are the person that they are not. building up such a solid reputation that we stand in the awe of their presence. and i believe that in some place in our hearts we hope to be like them somehow. not only can reputation be used to describe this, other traits can be used to describe it too. say maybe confidence, cool guy attitude, jovialness, arrogance etc. these are only some of the many traits that we surrond ourselves with, wrapping ourselves up like a popiah. haha.

and when setbacks or opposition attack us, we tend to withdraw withn this make belief protection and defend ourselves against whatever that is attacking us for example, head on confrontation or quarrells. but what happens if this shell that we seek their protection in is peel off layer by layer. and before long, we are naked without the shell as a form of protection? it is only then that we are most vulnerable and most exposed. and i believe that it is only at this point that our true self really make an appearance and we would learn that we are not the person that we make ourselves to be. however, it is dependant on the invidual. some people are just not plain acting. they are who they are even without their shells.

i also believe that people adopt a different personality in front of others for several reasons. they are not the real them but rather they are the reel them. they become the person that they may not be. it is like acting on stage, being someone that one is obviously not. it could boil down to several reasons. it could be due to wanting to gain social acceptance, to hide the insecurity that plagued their very being, to disguise the flaw in their character. it is very vague and the reasons may differ from person to person and this is what i think that could possibly be the few reasons towards my point.

i guess i strayed too much away from my main point of reputation. haha. but who cares. GP is way over already. and now i can write as much out of point as i want. hehe. ok... lame here. lol.

reputation can make or break us. sometimes, i feel that it is necessary to sacrifice reputation in order to continuing keeping the several things that one hold dear. i believe the sacrifice is worth it. for even though people forgive and never forget, reputation can still be build up after it's lost. but however, frenz and loved ones once lost at the expense of one's reputation can never be regain even if forgiving does take place. things would never like how it was before. people change. circumstances change. evolution some calls it. and i have learn lessons from it. a lesson learned is a lesson learn. but this is also dependent on a case by case basis. in some instances, it was better to have lost them than to keep them.

the end justify the means. how you get there, does it really matter at all?

it is completely irrelavant to be bothered about the ways, but rather it is relevant to be bothered about the results that are achieve from it. sacrificing self, sacrifcing frenz, sacrificing everything izzit really important? after all, we are normally judged by our results towards of mission rather than the actions taken to accomplish them. morality may be lacking due to the ruthless attitude displayed. but i believe that for one to be successful, one must not only have friends but must also be ruthless towards the conduct of one's goal.

the hypocriptical attitude of society or friends or peers? the selfishness of self? i leave it up to your own discretion. however, this is what i believe, this is what i observed. i may be wrong, but hell, we are all entitle to our own views. you may agree or disagree. it is of no consequence to me. i dont really care. jus typing what i think and what i feel. that's about it :))