i would like to state firstly, DO NOT CATCH THE WILD unless you have alot of money to burn which of course i do not mind you donating to me. :))

though the movie is nice especially the graphics, the animals look really realistic. i do not think that it is worth watching. the movie itself carries alot of family values and is quite humourous. since it has such a nice review why am i not recommending one to watch? coz it is only 1hr15mins movie.

well, if you are wondering who i went with to catch. i went with Feline & Ying Yi to catch the movie. i just have that bad habit of making girls wait. lol. unless of course you are that special someone la. Threesome will be what we shld call this outing. haha. following which we went to have Pepper Lunch at Taka. thank god, there wasn't that many people eating there at that time as we manage to get a seat and do not need to line up for our food. after our dinner we went window shopping around town and bump into a lot of our friends and Feline was lamenting "AJs are all muggers, i hardly saw any AJcian that i knw on the streets" lol. i think we walked quite a few hours as Feline was looking for a laptop. all i know now is that my feet hurts.

anyways, have a short busy week ahead. schools, appointments, meetings. grrrrr. haha. looking forward to the lunch appointment with Raihan if she do not have SYF next week. been a long time since i met her alr and i kinda miss her. here's my agenda for the week.

Monday- Stay home rest.
Tuesday- School
Wednesday- School & Lunch with Raihan if she do not have SYF or Movie with Rene. still thinking about which one to go
Thursday- School & Meeting with Shams & Qin Zheng at HQ.
Friday- School & Possible tution or if not movie with rene if i go for lunch with raihan or vice versa.
Saturday- Election Day
Sunday- Rest Day as God made the world in 6 days and rest on the 7th.

haha. what type of conclusion you wanna come too is up to you. you are entitled to your own decision. :)) see being a single is not bad rite? do not know why some of my frenz are lamenting over the fact that they are single? haha. after all you can love one girl but still go out with many as long as you remain faithful.

Single Rulez!!! and i am in support of Dom's recent theory.

Firstly, i would like to apologise to Mark for causing him some form of distress with my previous post. it is not nice for allies to be at odds. so i decide to back down and apologise for the post.

Sorry Mark!

well, i am happy to see that Mark is finally out of his depression mood, much of the credit is due to Sila. haha. she really have great influence over all of us especially him i guess. kudos to her. suddenly, she has become "hot" property this year. everyone seem to want a piece of her. but not me la. lol.

i would say that she is one of the prettiest girls in school currently and i think no one would dispute that fact with me as it is a view shared by many. Examples? Sara and Mark while i was having dinner with them today and they keep talkin abt the beauty of Sila. lol. funny isn't it?

ok. school today is boring as always and not exciting except for the Mark 1 incident today. lol.

Birdz Outz!!!

Just Felt Like Saying This.....

WAKE UP!!! GROW UP!!! Mark

In Focus With Bertie on Relationships

i do not claim to be a love guru, but this is my little take on relationships.

My view all along on relationships is that it should not be forced but rather it should come naturally like the rising of the sun. Everyone has a right to love and to be loved but there are only so few that would ultimately be able to experience true love as much as they may state otherwise.

How many couples actually come together because they really like each other intitially? very few. I would say that most couples come together on the basis of infactuation and from there on build on but such feelings go away as fast as they come. before you know it, your fairytale relationship could be over in a blink of an eye. but for those that are able to build on, they are really fortunate. but for those that are not, they just move on with life even though they may brood about it for a while.

in modern day society, how many relationships actually really last for a long long time? some end in a blink of an eye while others just ended before it started. there could however be some that just simply last, much to the amazement of others. but today, being in a relationship is no longer as sacred as it is in the past. we stead for the fun of steading, we go into a relationship for the sake of the other half as we may not like them, we steard coz we are bored. where is the value of a girlfriend nowadays? however, i must admit that there could be some exceptions to all these.

open relationships seem to be the hip thing nowadays. with no strings attached & no obligation required. in other words, part-time girlfriend. so technically, one is still single and available. you just turn to her if you need someone to talk too and for some love and comfort if you are in need of some and you are still a couple in the physical and mental sense. isn't this a much better option? but i also reconginse the fact that views differ and this is only my personal point of view. well, i must say that i like this type of relationships as in a way i am currently in one.

the heartbreak of a rejection is not as bad as the heartbreak of a breakup. the impact of the former is far greater than the latter. some people just do not recongnise this fact. if one faces rejections quite a lot of times, there has to be something wrong with the individual rather than the society around it. girls are not superficial though there are some that are. but generally, all a girl want is just someone to love and understand her, looks are only secondary. the primary concern of the girl would of course be the character of the guy. it just happen so that majority of the population happen to be mainly consisted of one size only thus it would be unfair to judge them so.

girls do not like guys with low self esteem, low self confidence and feel like the whole world is against them. why would i know? coz from experience it tells me so. one of my favorite question that i like to ask my female friends is what type of boyfriend they would like? and the general answer that i get from them would be the character of the guy and the confidence that he eludes when with them as they do not like to be out with wimps. looks and size doesn't really matter.

facing a breakup is worst than facing a rejection. i must say that i am lucky not to have face a rejection before as i do not fall head over heels with every girls that i meet or who treat me nicely. rather even if i like you, i would still not make any move until i am certain that you are the girl that i am lookin for. but facing a breakup i had and it took me a fairly long time to recover. up till now, some of the hurt still remains as when you are deep into a relationship and all of a sudden it ended, the impact that it will have on you is nothing compared to getting rejected by your crush. ask around and i believe that those that have experience both can tell you that this is true.

i may have many female friends. more than my male friends i must say but i do know how to draw the line between being friends and chasing after them. i do not fall head over heels in love with all of them and if i do, i think i would have a long line of rejections. haha. sometimes i really wonder how i manage to get to know so many female, given the fact that i am not that good-looking etc. well, i think it jus boils down to being confident about making friends and not being intimidated by the fact that they are female. getting a girlfriend too boils down to self confidence. if you do not believe that you can do it, you never can. and you will always be the loser that you already are. one can whine about it as much as possible but if you complain with no solutions or lacking the will to make the changes. you will die a single.

The life of a singlelite is far better than being in a relationship in my opinion. I really do not see the reason why some peeple would feel depress just because a partner do not come knocking at his or her doorstep? sometimes, not having a girlfriend is much better than having one, financially and spiritually. as a single, i do really enjoy my freedom to go out with whoever i like , girls or guys doesn't matter. to do whatever i want and make friends with whatever people that i want. of coz there are several other reasons which cannot be disclose here. but ya. i really enjoy being "single" though it's highly possible to get a gf. so why don't you too?

haha. to all my fellow singles out there, fret not, a girlfriend or boyfriend will come along in time. the more you look, the more they will not appear. they will appear when you least expect it. True Love does not come easily. not everyone can be one's gf or bf. So why not enjoy Life to its fullest? coz the world will not stop coz you are sad and brooding. it just move on after all you are one of the billions of people that populate the world!

been feverish for the past few days, fever coming on and off. i soooo hate being sick man. restricted to bed, no life at all. and it's back to school for me again tomorrow, looking forward to it as i think i have enough rest for the week. haha. but on the lighter note, at least i know how it will feel if i do happen to be bedridden in the future. but touch wood man. hope that do not happen.

though it's a little late but Congratulations to Feline for getting Honoured Graduand for 51st CLT Course. and to Mirza and Darren for passing out from the Course.

A Little Something Dedicated To All My Friends, Myself Included.....

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much, you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

When the Door of Happiness closes, another opens. But often, we look so long at the closed door, we dun see the one which has been opened to us.

Don't go for looks, they can deceive.

Don't go for wealth, it can fade away.

Go for someone who makes you smile because a smile can make a dark day seem bright.

Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go. Be who you want to be because you have only one life and one chance to do the things that you want to do.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go forward until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. Live your life to its fullest so that at the end, you are the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Don't count the years- count the memories.

Life is not measure by the number of breathes you take, but by the moments that take your life away.

school is getting more and more "interesting" as the days go by. i somehow feel threatened and insecure as a result of events or things that have happen in school eversince the start of this year and the change of school management.

take recently for example, the blogging issue in which my classmate, Terrance and a few others were apprehanded for making remarks about the school principal which are supposedly "unfounded" and "untrue" according to the Principal, himself, he was also made to do a public apology stating that all that he said was false. to me, by saying that this incident as mentioned is "unfounded" and "untrue" is as good as denying the fact that this incident actually took place. we all knew that the incident DID take place and the things that were done were indeed TRUE and not some form of fabrication of students who just want some attention. isn't this similiar to lying? or would i take it as covering one's backside after all, some people could get into real trouble with MOE if it was ever leak there.

blogs to me are personal diaries and in the face of modern technology, a place whereby we could vent our anger, pen our thoughts and express our feelings. freedom of expression and freedom of speech exists there. this is like a little universe of our own. a space where we can forget who we are and be someone that we always wanted to be.

the reason why i started this blog was so as to express the many disgruntlements that i have with the things around me and to provide my friends with a source of entertainment to cheer them up. as much as i may agree that there should be a form of censorship, wouldnt it be a better idea if these people just leave our blogs alone. i believe that there is choice to read or not to read the entry. and in this case, whoever that read it, chose the former and as a result all these things started happening, disrupting our otherwise stressful lives by adding additional stress to it.

under the media laws, as long as there is truth reported in what that was being said even as deframatory as it may seem, it is right. take the watergate scandal for example, the media reported the scandal. were they sue? or they suppress like how we are now? the answer is No. why? coz there is truth in whatever that they reported and the American Government knows it. but in my case here it is different. in what way different you may wonder? the truth was being told, feelings were being expressed and it was ultimately suppressed by the "government". are they really that scared of the consequences or they just unhappy about what was happening? these are some of the possible theories that one may examine from a student's point of view.

where now can we express how we feel? when even our blogs are not safe from the scrutiny of the school management? express it to them? nah. u think it is possible? i do not think so. everything that we believe in and everything that we feel is now under threat. the general feeling after speaking with some people is that we never know when or where we will be called up for a coffee session with the principal if we are ever unhappy with anything about the school and express them publicly. if all these people can come to the same conclusion it would mean that we all feel the same way with regards to certain issues and that something is really wrong.

express it to the teachers perharps? you sure? i tell you why. because they will shoot you down and convince you that it is the right way to go and that things will be better after a while and after that they completely forget about the entire things. i express my unhappiness over some issues to the former principal, Mrs Ong and several teachers which are in existent and valid. but is anything done? No. things are still the same as it is and i have learn to live with it with a little modifications here and there and they told me exactly what i just typed.

another possible source that we are go one may say are the Student Council? are you sure? the Student Council in the eyes of many is the political mouthpiece of the school. whatever the school management wants, it is directed through them and from there they try to convince the students that it is right and it is the way to go. they are just not the leaders that they are suppose to be. they are just figureheads for a greater power behind the scenes. have anything been done while they are around? ya. the most notable achievement to date would probably be the change in canteen vendors other than that? i really can't think of any. but i also must give credit where credit is due, like the 2nd Student Council did try to make some changes and propose them to the teachers in charge and what happened? it was shot down and deemed as unsuitable. of course, one may argue that they do organise things like orientation and concerts and such but at whose direction? the school's.

as a leader or a representative of the school, it is important that they fight for our rights and to make school a better place and a more condusive enviroment for all of us ultimately. but do we see that happening? yes. they do fight. but among themselves. for power, for prestige, for glory and for the need to be recongnise and to be the most popular guy or girl around. to me, the vast majority of them are not leaders but rather childish kids who wants a little fame and glory. how then can we highlight our problems when this avenue is closed too? deframation? nah. it is the truth.

i quote from the principal in a speech he make this morning, "if you are unhappy about the school policies, you can always come to look for me or any of my teachers.........and we will explain it to you in great detail" note the word that is being used here is "explain" and not "we will try to do something about it if it is valid" by saying this sentence, it further supports the fact that the school in not open to suggestions and would come down hard on us if we ever attempt to do so as there is also a hint of a threat in the last few words of his sentence "explain it to you in great detail" the tone in which is was delievered to me, was a little intimidating and it is like openly challenging anyone to deframe him and the school.....if we dare and faced expulsion if so.

we would also be expelled if ever such an incident happens again as quoted by the principal once again but i can assure myself and others that the school cannot expel us on the basis that we spoke up for what is wrong, which is indeed wrong and for highlighting the mistakes of a few certain people. they can only expel us if crime is being commited or if they feel we are beyond their control which in this case is not as it was only the principal that was insulted for somethings that was being done.

so am i suppose to feel intimidated by what was being said and done? no. i feel disgusted rather. and for those that know me, i do not get disgusted that easily and when i do i can get really vocal and critical of it. i believe in standing up and speaking up for what i believe in and i hold on to these beliefs tightly even though i may be at the losing end at times. if you are wrong. you are wrong. i would respect you even more if the fault is being admitted but if you try to cover up and push the blame elsewhere, i surely have something to say about it.

take for example, recently one of my fellow CLTs tried to push the blame to me for something which was very plain obvious to everyone that it was really his fault and not mine as i wasn't even suppose to be involved in the first place. what happened in the end? i gave him a piece of my mind for untrueful accusations. if you think that i will back down when i am accuse, one is wrong. i will always stand up to fight for my right and if i really am at fault. i am not afraid to admit it and to apologise for the inconvenience caused.

that in my opinion is how a gentlemen and a leader should behave. for cadets will not look up to you when you try to push the blame elsewhere or to cover up, instead they will start questioning themselves why are they following such a leader? a leader is suppose to be a role model, a friend, a confidante. in the end, they would respect you for your rank and not you as a person, which i feel is rather sad. to get things done, one first need the support of the masses as things done willingly, are things that are being accomplished with quality. the mandate of the cadets are important without a doubt.

i do not mind anyone reading my blog, be it teachers or students, friends or enemies. you may come to understand me better or you may come to loathe me as a result. but at least at the end, you will know how i feel even though i may not express my feelings to you. but to punish me for expressing wrongdoings is wrong. these is being known as suppression or oppression and i think it is wrong.

to me, the current situation is just like being in a totalitarian state. where i am not suppose to say what i want, to do what i like but rather i have to be cautious of what i say and what i do or i could be "arrested". Suppression and Oppression at its very best. history has already proven itself time and time again that these 2 actions are the causes for the fall of dynasties and the rise of nationalism or the start of a revolution.

French Revolution started coz the people were not happy with the French monarchy for the oppression that they faced. the policies that were implemented.

Russian Revolution started too coz the people were not happy with the Russian monarch for the suppression that they faced and the policies that were being implemented.

China Revolution started coz the people were unhappy with the Qing Government for the policies that were implemented and the suppression that they faced.

note the similiarites in which all these revolutions take place? these are only a few examples of the revolutions that happened throughout the course of history. but the factors are all the same. respect is lost as a result of the implementation of policies that are suppose to be "beneficial" to the people but in the end, it caused more harm than good. they lost the mandate of the people to rule. take the Emacipitation of Serfs in Russia by Nicholas II for example. it was started off with good intentions but ultimately led to the downfall of the Tsar and the many social and economic problems that plague Russia for a few generations.

by suppressing the people, nothing good will come out of it. it is only a short term effect and in long run what will happen? how long can the people be suppress before they stand up to fight for what they believe in? most revolutions as stated before starts this way. mandate once lost is not easy to get it back.

i guess i have stray too much from the main point. the point that i want to make is that opinions should be heard and respected and that there should be a good relationship between the school and the students, after all, what school can function without students and what students we will be without the school? it is a win-win situation for both parties and sometimes it is necessary to compromise on either side. we will all benefit from it.

freedom of expression and speech should be encouraged as it is only through criticsim that we can learn? if one only wants to hear what is right, one will only be stuck there while others are able to move on. to me, i feel that criticisim is important for developement as a person. it will only make you better as you know what is wrong with you. but in order to do that, one has put aside egoism as it is the only barrier that stands in our way. it is human to be pissed when something bad is being said about oneself but that is being petty. personal grudges should be put aside as we work towards a greater goal. we should look at the big picture as a whole and not that small picture. great leaders are able to visualise long term and not short term. i believe that the direction in which we are going is right but perharps that methods being used are wrong.

i will stand behind my friends as long as they are in the right but even if they are at fault, i will still stand by them as the bonds of friendship are tested by trials and tribulations and i believe in loyalty towards friends.

"We should be living in a world with the freedom of speech, freedom of thought, freedom of worship and freedom from fear" - Theodore Roosevelt (quoted from a blog that i've read)

Read whatever you want, say whatever you want but do not do whatever you want.

These few nosey-parkers really remind me of the Chekas or KGB. Simply outstanding in crackdown of expression & freedom but what to do, the place where i spend everyday of my waking time is a Gulak or Ghetto, whichever that is worst. :))

But whenever there is oppression, rebellions is bound to occur. revolution will take place. it is only a matter of time. History has already proven itself many times over.
For how long can the voice of the people be oppress?

How far will censorship really go?
One Man's Ego led to the censorship of media and the demise of an otherwise happy blogging community. However, who cares? i will still jus blog whatever i like and how i may feel. the opinions and actions of others bears no impact to me even though there may be dire consequences.

The stage has been set. will more follow? or will it just end like this?

F is for Freedom
E is for Expression
D is for Dillusion

U is for Uprising
P is for Progression

All Power to the Students!!!

Bertie's Guide To Flirting

Things to do when Flirting

1. Say "Hello" with energy
   
2. Shake hands (depending on circumstances)
   
3. Make immediate, direct eye contact
   
4. Be Confident! People are drawn to other people who have confidence. Confidence radiates like the sun, others can sense when you have it. Ask questions that would not make you look like an idiot.
   
5. Listen! You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak! Listening is a true art, and the best conversationalists all have great listening skills in common.
6. Have something to say by keeping up-to-date with current affairs.
   
7. Play with a piece of clothing for example, stirring a drink, adjusting your hair, etc.
   
8. Whisper so that she can lean closer to you
   
9. Be Spontaneous! Don't think too hard about what you're going to say - just really listen to what the other person is saying and let yourself respond naturally. Don't worry about what might happen next - live for the moment! You might not get another chance to talk to the person! So go for it!
   
10. Create and use nicknames like for example, my darling angel, my sweetie etc.
    
11. Drop Names to show your connections to friends whom the person you are flirting with knows so as to put her at ease.
    
12. Wear, bring, or carry something unusual so as to attract his or her attention so that she will be fascinated with you.
13. Smile! A smile makes you look friendly, confident and approachable. People smile at people who smile! So smile! It's contagious!

Things Not To Do When Flirting

1. Don't depend on others to make things happen
   
2. Don't tease.
3. Don't cling
   
4. Don't dwell on your performance
   
5. Don't be nervous

HAPPY 1976TH DEATH ANIVERSARY JESUS CHRIST!!!

What Makes a Man Strong

1. The Strength of a Man isn't in the width of his shoulders, but in the width of his arms around his love one.

2. The Strength of a Man isn't in the deep tone of his voice, but in the gentle words that he whispers.

3. The Strength of a Man isn't in how many buddies that he has, but how good a buddy he is to his friends.

4. The Strength of a Man isn't in how respected he is at work, but in how respected he is at home.

5. The Strength of a Man isn't in how hard he hits, but how tender he touches.

6. The Strength of a Man isn't in the hair on his chest, but in the heart that lies withn his chest.

7. The Strength of a Man isn't in how many woman he loves, but in how well he loves one woman.

8. The Strength of a Man isn't in the amount of weights that he can lift, but in the burdens that he can bear.

a little funny something if you understand.....

Heaven is where the police is British, the cooks French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italians and it is all organised by the Swiss.

Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss, the police German, and it is all organised by the Italians.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIEX DEAR!!!!!

Something that my Part Ds said to me today that truly touch me

"This CLT made us into the Leaders that we are today, without him, we would still be the same shit that we were back then. He made us from a peice of shit into Leaders"

i must say that even though i did contribute to their developement as a leader, i feel that credit too should go to my Part Ds and not myself. for the amount of effort that they put in not only to make Changkat what it is today but also in their own personal developement as a leader and a student. it takes 2 hands to clap and i formed only 1 hand, and they the other. without them i would not be able to create such an impact and would not have learned along the way. that is probably one of the most touching things i have heard come out from their mouth haha, coz most of the time like me, nothing good comes out from their mouth. :P

well, i attended training today after quite a long layoff due to tution and other commitments. it was really quite nice to be back at training. and to be honest, i really miss it. all the excitement, the interaction with cadets etc. it basically brought me back to life. :)) haha. and i can proudly proclaim that CHANGKAT CHANGI (AIR) UNIT HAS THE PRETTIEST GIRLS IN NCC. a rarity i must say. i really do not know how many more times i can return to Changkat for training, as much as i feel a sense of belonging to St Gab's, i feel that in the past 3 years, Changkat has more or less become a home of sorts to Me and my merry band. and even though i would like to return to St Gab's, it is still with great reluctance that i leave Changkat.

3 years of hardwork, 3 years of dedication and commitment.......... and finally i have seen the fruits of my labour......those who sow in tears will reap in shouts of joy.....oh how true is that......
my cadets rocks my socks.....and as long as i am their CLT, i would always protect them from anyone and anything even at my own expense...... my cadets first always, myself last always.

today this post i shall dedicate to me, myself and i.

well, throughout all my life i have never come across teachers would have something good to say about me. haha. all along i have been hearing the same comments over and over again. "Bertram, you are lazy" "Bertram, you have capable of doing more than what you are currently doin" "Bertram i think you can do better than that" etc. these are basically comments that have been overused ever since secondary school. expectations for me somehow or rather are quite high for me and i feel that sometimes i am not able to live up to their expectations. frankly speaking, i am also quite sick of hearing such comments.

i feel that the only time that i am able to focus and give my all is NCC. it is the only thing that drives me and motivates me to press on to do the impossible. like what mark says, there are really 2 faces to me, 1 is the face that i put on in NCC, a more serious, more stern, perfectionist, less jovial one that my classmates have known. the other is the jovial and talk cock and sometimes stupid appearance that my classmate have gotten use too. well, i guess each party can only see one side of me, there is no way you can get to see the other. haha. but i do put on my other self at times for my cadets and they do get stunned.

i am quite a complex character to know. so do not assume that you know me. i have never sought to change any of your impressions about me but rather leave it as the way it is. to me, how you think of me is of no importance but rather how i think of myself is of paramount importance. it amuses me to do some of the things that i do, some of the comments that i may pass. well, wat else can i say except that i really do enjoy myself in doing what i do. i am never one to bow to public opinion as much as i listen to opinions. i try to get the best of both so that everyone can end up happy and when there are the certain times that public opinions may be against me, i just do what i think that is right.

in my life, there may be many girls, but in my heart there is only one. and my heart was taken by her a long time ago which i do not mind. :)) well, in a relationship there always have to be its ups and downs. but who cares as long as each other enjoys the other's company. haha. the world jus centre around the 2 of us.

if you think that you know me, you have barely touch the surface. :))

Presenting to You: The 7 Deadly Sins

All of which i must humbly admit that i am guilty of :))

7 Deadly Sins

Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

I must admit that i have alot of pride in me. Pride for my unit, pride for my abilities, pride for my cadets. i guess i am quite a prideful person especially when it comes to NCC. i hate it when people question my ability or have doubts over it. there is a fine line between being prideful or confident and i think i am just threading thinly on that line. i always take pride in everything that i set my mind to do. and i hate losing coz of this pride that i have in me. and i have so much pride that i blatantly refuse to know or jio any girls that my friends were once interested in or have interest in and have already made a move as i consider it "secondhand" guess that sorts of explain things. there is simply too much pride in me for my own good. like they say "pride comes before a fall" hope that do not happen to me.

Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.

well, i am never envious. so it is quite hard to think of situations that i happen to be envious.

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

who's not a glutton? it is human nature to take more than you can possibly consume. haha. take food for example. who wants less? everyone wants more. same can be said about me too. i do consume more than it was require especially during that period after O Levels.

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

haha. this is a sin which i am definitely guilty of. which guys will not lust after girls or material wealth? there are so many things to lust about and i think the top thing that i lust after is what that has eluded me for quite a few years already. to get it would probably be fill up the missing piece in my life.

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.

i seldom get angry, jus plain irritated at times. but when those few times i do get irritated according to those that have seen me in fury before claim that it was the scariest thing that they have ever encountered. it was like hell unleashed. hmmm the last time that i got really angry would probably be during last year June Spec Course. i really lost my cool and end up making a few cadets cry. bleahs. you must be thinking bastard rite? haha.

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness

well, i am greedy. greedy for success, greedy for food. lol. i am quite ambitious by nature but somehow when i come to MI, i am not that ambitious or rather i can't be bothered about the politics or things that are happening in school. my ambition could probably best be seen in NCC, i pass out wanting to be somebody and i have went a long way to achieving it. now i am indeed somebody and not a nobody like some of the others. haha. you can say that it is this greed that drives me on to aim beyond the sun.

the best example would be wei liang. regardless of what he does, he would always be in alvin's and my shadow. he lack the ability and the drive to take him far. For Alvin, he is a glider pilot and a respected, well known CLT and me, i was the ex Air OIC, supernumery with a few connections here and there. wei liang could never emualate us. take for example, the recent camp feast, the few times that i do open my mouth and speak, it carries more weight than what wei liang as OIC said. haha. guess that is pride. oops.

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.

haha. this happens all the time man. i try to avoid doin physical work whenever possible. especially the lifting up of the dreaded pen to do homework. that is something that i would like to avoid at all cause. i am a downright lazy dude. haha, i do avoid goin to church somethings too. so ya. haha. i guess i would probably win the award of the Laziest Person on Earth.

recently, the school is emboiled in two groundbreaking events. Uniform Check and File Check, both of which is kickstarted by our esteemed principal, whatever his name is. i miss the former but am not able to escape the latter. but seriously, this is like WTF.

i do not know if the rest of my classmates share my sentiments but i feel that all these are absolutely unnecessary but for uniform check, i have no complains about that coz in NCC, we have it all the time and the punishments are more or less the same. Either you cut or i cut for you. if you have long hair and we would send them out to cut their hair and they have to be back by the appointed time or not we will punish them even harsher.

we treat dye hair the same too. we'll give them 7 choices.

1. Colour your hair with Shoe Polish
2. Colour your hair with Spray Paint
3. Colour your hair with Marker
4. Cut off the coloured hair
5. Dye your hair black
6. Watch your flight mates knock it down 200
7. Demotion

and if we happen to have improper uniform, we would always expect to kena severe punishments from our seniors. when i became a CLT, we did the same thing to the cadets too. the entire process was to ensure that we would look smart and nice in our uniform as we are representatives of our school and unit. to look sloppy would be consider as us disgracing our unit.

so after what i went through in NCC, i can understand what the school is trying to do, thus i shall not be too critical of this issue as some of my classmates are. let's all take it that the school is trying to revamp its image in the eyes of the public and the first step of course would be to look prim and proper and not like some Ah Beng or Ah Lian as some of our students obviously look like one. to me, i think that it is perfectly alright. there is nothing wrong with being send home. so ya. i do not see what is all the fuss about. the only fuss that i can think of is the way in which they conduct the uniform check. other than that, i do not think that there is anything wrong with the way that things are done. after all, some of the teachers did try to help the students cover up.

File Check, i seriously do not know what is the school's problem. 5 files all together at the same time. it is quite stressful. my guess would be that the principal is too free at Bartley that is why he wanna burn his time away by checking our files or if not it is because that he wanna test the efficency of the teachers. and if he really do that at our expense. he really failed as the principal. this has never happen before, most of the times the file checks are done over a period of time so that we can better prepare our files. but not this time. it is really an overkill.

i shall not be so harsh in this post about the school management though i have a lot to say as i am in quite a bouyent mood over some issues. and also i do not feel like typing a super long post. :))

The rate in which events are happening right now, i think that there is indeed Hope for the not so distant future.....

The existance of Hope & Love in each one of us is what spur us on forward & make us complete.....

We are able to find perfection in imperfection. Age doesnt matter, race doesnt matter, sex doesnt matter.....

Hoping that the Love that we share is able to carry us forward, Hoping that our Love for each other is enough to brave the toughest storms. Hoping that Love & Love alone is enough to nourish us. I love Her & She love me that is enough for both of us, what the world thinks is of no importance.....

No one is perfect.....

and so it has finally began.....

Presenting to you the rantings of a frustrated and bored student,

Everyone puts on a mask that they want people to see, myself included. keeping up this camouflage is quite tiring especially after time. i just wanna be the guy that i know i am, but it is impossible for many reasons.

my posts have been getting more and more melancholy as time go by. i can never find a person whom i can talk with and truly share my troubles. i guess that explains why friends come and go in my life and to me, it is a process which i go through everyday. i do not feel anything. to me, it just marks the start of another chapter in my friendshp. i make new friends and lose some old ones too. but it doesnt really matter to me. i have too many to keep track off anyway. i can never have this fixed group of friends. i am always here or there, never fix in one place. i am not constant like the river water. socialable? i really dun knw.

the same can be said about me when it comes to relationships. girls just come and go in my life. once a long time ago, i thought that i have found the right girl but i let her slip away. and that chapter close, and i move on. and when i look back, i think that i really have left behind a path of destruction in my wake. i did more harm than good.

i just wanna declare that i will not know the friend of my friend through my friend. and most of the time i do not really wanna know friends that my friends know unless of course they are already my friends. i believe in making friends with my own ability and not relying on others. it limits my social circle if i just know the people around me. i do not see any point in doin it. i am just limiting myself to this group of people. and most of all, i do not like or want to make new friends in a small school like MI for reasons known to me and me alone. my pool of friends is large enough without any new additions, thank you.

there are certain things to life that i really hate.

Things that i really hate:

1. People that talk too much
2. Nagging
3. People giving attitude, you give me attitude, i sure return it back to you double
4. using of my name to achieve personal goals.
5. backstabbers
6. people that talk and talk, thinking that they know everything.
7. egoistic freaks.
8. people who made use of friends for personal gain
9. excessive homework
10. lack of understanding in people
11. lack of common sense in people
12. people who think the whole world evolve around them.
13. imperfection in perfection
14. people that are overbearing.

i see that around me all the time but i get much more critical now that i am suffering from friend fatigue and i care less who i offend. i can offend anyone and everyone. i try to accomodate my friends as much as possible but i may display the traits that i hate at times but i do try to be the best possible friends to my friends. i am truly threading the fine line between anger and irritation. i just can't stand the life that i am living now. i need her but she was never there.

life is really going downhill. i am suffering from Friend Fatigue & School Fatigue.

facade vs reality how realistic it can get.

there is fine line between being arrogant and being confident.

as a Gabrielite Air Cadet, it has been instilled or drilled into us by our Flight Sergents to have confidence in everything that we do, that nothing is impossible and of course not missing out that fact that we are the best amongst the best.

St Gab's Air Unit was officially commissioned as a school unit in the year 2000 and i was part of the 1st batch of school cadets. that very year, we won the Chief of Air Force Challenge Throphy, naming us the Best Air Unit in Singapore. we were also the overall 2nd best in the entire NCC. this award was presented to us during the NCC Cenetary Celebrations. and we are proud to be the first Air Unit to have done so. in the 4 years that i was in St Gab's, we won that coveted 3 times. our closest competitor was ACS (I) and we lost to them only once but we won it back the following year.

i would always remember camps whereby the Gabrielites stick together. One for All, All for One. we were labelled the most anti-social peeps around but we care less coz we think that we are a cut above the rest. the only unit that we were friendly with was AMKSS where we have a history dating back quite some time. somehow every batch of Gabrielites would be link to some girl from there. haha. we would always fall in as a school even though they seperate us and we would not fail to deliver our slogan when we were dismissed "Best of the Best, St Gab's!"

so great was our confidence that we believe that nothing is impossible and that we are indeed the best. and we always strive for the best, giving our all. confidence became the foundation of our successes.

Every dynasty has to come to an end someday. our dominion of NCC AIR was coming to an end and it was inevitable.

sadly to say, confidence gave way to arrogance as the years went by. the past few batches rested on their laurels and do not strive to build on from where we left off. we were now a ghost of our past. things are going downhill and it saddens us, CLTs to see it so. measures have already been taken to slower down the slide.

same can be said for the Gabrielite CLTs, all through our proud history, we were legends in our own right. Gabrielite CLTs were probably the most feared and widely respected CLTs around but things went downhill in my 2nd year as a CLT. apparently the wrong people got send for CLT course and when they pass out, things went awry. however, things are starting to pick up now with the new batch of CLTs. everything started coming apart after the 46th CLTs, which happen to be my batch.

we should have remain at St Gab's but we were "force" to leave due to the existing circumstances at that time. but if we had remain there, we would not have gotten to know the Changkat Cadets which we deemed as a St Gab's in the making. They have the passion, the drive and the confidence, a mirror image of how we were in the past. and i believe that Gold Unit and Best Unit would be withn our grasp soon. right now, i believe we can hear the calling of St Gab's. it has been 3 years in "exile", we have gain much and we have learn much. but duty calls and we would answer the call of duty. after all duty above self. as much as i want to return i can't.

it is quite heart wrenching to see your alma mater's cadets asking you to return and you turning them down in turn and in each and everyone of their eyes you can see the disappointment in it. i guess you could label alvin, wl and myself as prodigal sons but that day will come whereby we will return to where we rightfully belong. right now, i would be embarking on a new role in St Gab's as Advisor to the Unit and it would start as soon as i am able to return for training. ok. i know that i am suppose to be on leave but ya. i believe that i can do it by juggling 2 Units and A levels. if yue yun can do it, i do not see why i can't do it.

it is quite hard to let go and in me, there is this desire to be back in the thick of things and this fire can never be extinguished. i guess i will be making my own mini comeback soon. definitely not at HQ Level but rather at Unit Level. not to sound arrogantly, but i have left already left behind a legacy that would be hard to follow but right now all i want to do is to cement my place as a legend. call it ambition or plain arrogrance, but that was what Alvin, Wei Liang and I set out to achieve and achieve it i shall. i am just confident in my own abilities and like all Gabrielites Air CLTs, i believe that impossible is nothing.

The Unit is just facing a rough patch and we will bounce back. the Gabrielites will make a comeback. i am sure about that. watch out for us. we will take all of you by storm and amongst us too will be my Changkat Cadets, Eagles of the East and you will not know what struck you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUISA!!!

HAPPY APRIL'S FOOLS TO ALL THE FOOLS OUT THERE!!! Yes, You, who is currently reading my blog!

had a very fun day with feline today. started off with a trip to beach road then later walked down to suntec to get something for yy. later head off to town, walk around, meet up with ying yi, catch movie (Ice Age 2) went for dinner, talk cock then home sweet home.

haha. feline looks different. she cut her hair short and looks much nicer than with her ponytail.
and well, it's just normal to go out with female frenz so dun think too much about it man. it will not help u to grow more braincells.

haha. met Ping Xiu too in town at Heeran. she looks different out of uniform and in fbt shorts. ok. she's hot? bleahs. can't believe that i am sayin that. and learn that she is studyin the same JC as feline. whoopie. AJC roxs! so many hot chicks. haha. made 2 new AJ frenz today? lol. well, we'll see about that. ok this paragraph is rather random.

sometimes i just cant believe that i happen to knw so many female frenz. it's amazing considering the fact that i came from a single sex school. but well, it's fated. and if God wills it who am i to tell him not? shall not contest that. lol.

that's all for now i guess.....